Course Content
Resilience Component #7: Patience and the Never Quit Attitude
Let go of the need for Instant Gratification
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Workbook and PDF Resources
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7 Components of Resilience
About Lesson

Q: What does it mean to be resilient?

A: Being resilient means you were able to bounce back quickly from a setback, unfortunate circumstance, or failure.

Rather than allowing a bad event to hold you back and prevent you from living your life, you use your sense of resilience to move through what happened so you can continue with your life. 

A resilient person can weather difficult storms; they don’t allow the unpredictability of life to stop them from living and enjoying what they have. Although resilient people are able to work through tough situations more efficiently and effectively, it doesn’t mean that they don’t experience all the difficult emotions that come with bad situations. Instead, it means they are ready and willing to process those emotions so they can move on and continue living their lives. 

Q: How can you be more resilient when it feels impossible to do so?

For many people, the idea of being resilient can feel impossible. Think back to one of the absolute worst experiences you’ve ever had in your life: you may recall really struggling with your emotions. Perhaps it took you a really long time to finally work through that bad experience. You may even still struggle with memories of the bad experience.

 Even in the toughest of situations you can still practice resiliency. For example, you can try these strategies to make being resilient feel a little easier:

  1. Do your best to focus on the positive side of the situation. Even if you really have to brainstorm and reflect, you can likely find at least one small positive detail about your challenge or difficult situation.
  2. Practice responding instead of reacting. In the heat of the moment, you may feel pressure to react immediately to whatever is happening. Instead, you can practice resiliency by giving yourself permission to step away and really think about what’s happening. This allows you to respond in a meaningful and thoughtful way, which is far more conducive to a happy ending in a difficult situation.
  3. Challenge your negative thoughts. When you’re going through a difficult situation, it is easy to allow your negative thinking to take over. Instead of allowing negative thoughts to control your feelings about a situation, practice measuring those negative thoughts against reality. More often than not, you will realize that your negative thoughts are rooted in fear rather than reality. When you measure those negative thoughts against what is really happening, you will likely discover that your negative thinking isn’t that realistic. 

Q: Is being resilient a form of self-denial?

Unfortunately, some people view being resilient as a form of self-denial. These people may believe that, because a person is able to process and work through a difficult situation quickly, they haven’t actually resolved the issue. This isn’t true. It is possible to be resilient in a way that is accepting and aligned with reality. 

Showing a strong sense of resiliency means you are able to accept what happened so you can process your emotions and resolve the issue more effectively. To some people, this can look like self-denial, as if you are ignoring or hiding the problem. In reality, you are working through the problem in a healthier way, which allows you to solve it and return to your normal life much faster.

Q: How does resilience help you recover from difficult situations or circumstances?

Being resilient helps you recover from difficult situations or circumstances much quicker. This is because resiliency acts like a set of mental and emotional armor. Think about your resiliency as a thick armor that protects you while you work through some really challenging situations. 

With your resiliency covering you, you can analyze and process what is happening in your life without allowing it to hurt you further or drag you down. With this special armor in place, you can recover from your difficult situations and circumstances a lot easier. In this sense, resiliency acts like a great tool you can use to work through life’s hardships effectively. 

Q: If you struggle with resilience, can you develop it as a skill?

If you struggle to be a resilient person, you can develop a stronger sense of resiliency with some patience, practice, and time. Consider using these strategies to build a stronger sense of resiliency:

  1. Focus on the positives. When you’re in a difficult situation, maintaining a positive mindset is crucial. When you focus on the positives, you don’t give yourself a lot of space to get weighed down by negative thinking. The more you practice thinking positively, the easier it will be for you to do it, even when you find yourself faced with a hard situation.
  2. Always measure what you are thinking and feeling against reality. Often, anxious, and stressful thoughts are born of fear that isn’t actually based in reality. To build a stronger sense of resiliency, Focus on being mindful and staying in the present moment. Doing so will help you realize when your thoughts are straying into wild, negative imagination. 

Q: How is resilience related to flexibility and adaptability?

Resilient people are also highly flexible and adaptable. This means that they are able to change and flow with whatever is happening around them. Rather than feeling stuck in a circumstance, they find ways to be flexible and adaptable so they can continue to move along with the flow of life. Their sense of resiliency allows them to be flexible and able to adapt with whatever is happening around them, even if it is unexpected or unfamiliar to them.

Q: How can you be resilient after you fail at something or make a huge mistake?

One of the most challenging situations a person can ever face in life is failing at something or making a huge mistake. After a mistake or failure, you may feel a lot of challenging emotions, such as embarrassment, anger, or shame. This can make processing those emotions and moving past the situation difficult. To be more resilient after failing or making a mistake, consider these basic strategies:

  1. Remind yourself that failing and making mistakes is normal for everyone. all human beings are going to fail or make a mistake at some point in their lives. You are no different. Remember that failures and mistakes are a normal part of being human.
  2. Focus on the lesson you learned from the failure or mistake. Every time you fail or make a mistake, you have the opportunity to learn from what happened. Take some time to focus on what you can learn from your failure or mistake; once you have that knowledge, you can use it to ensure that you will not repeat the failure or mistake again in the future. 

Q: How does positivity fuel resiliency? 

Positive people are often very resilient. This is because they focus on the good “what ifs” of life. Instead of focusing on everything that could go wrong or everything holding them back, they choose to focus on everything that could go right. 

Positivity acts like fuel for resiliency because it inspires you to keep going and keep trying, even when life gets extra stuff. Because you have a positive outlook on life, you are motivated to “bounce back” from tough situations quicker.

Q: How do anxiety and stress impact your sense of resiliency?

If you suffer from excess anxiety or stress, you may struggle to be resilient. Anxiety and stress are often rooted in fear oh, and those beers are usually not based in reality. You may experience wild, out of control thoughts because of your anxiety and stress levels. 

When you are feeling overly anxious or stressed, you may not feel very resilient. It is difficult to keep moving forward in a tough situation when you are anxious and stressed out about what might happen in the future. 

When your anxiety and stress levels are through the roof, regaining control of yourself so you can keep moving forward and be resilient may not be possible. 

Q: Are self-validation and resiliency related to each other?

Self-validation is a necessary part of resiliency. When a person self-validates, it means that they take the time to acknowledge the reality of their situation and emotions. Even if they are uncomfortable, unhappy, or bothered by what’s happening to them, they will self-validate by reminding themselves that what they’re experiencing is normal, even if the situation is bad. 

Taking time to self-validate can spark resiliency. When you self-validate what you’re thinking, experiencing, or feeling, you have accepted your reality, making it easier the move forward through the tough situation.

Q: Is it normal to experience a lapse in your sense of resiliency?

Absolutely. Experiencing ebbs and flows in your sense of resiliency is totally normal. Your sense of resiliency can be affected by many different factors. For example, you may find it very difficult to be resilient if you are exhausted. 

You may find yourself in a situation that is so new and different, that it challenges you to use your sense of resiliency. Different people experience all situations uniquely. This means that your sense of resiliency may be challenged more thoroughly in some situations compared to others.

Q: Why are some people more resilient than others?

Resiliency, like many other human traits, vary widely from person to person. You may find it easy to be resilient in a difficult situation; other people may find the same difficult situation impossible to manage. 

Simply put, being resilient depends on your unique set of traits and experiences. Fortunately, if you are unhappy with your own sense of resiliency, it is also possible to develop it into something stronger. 

Q: How can a support system boost your own sense of resiliency?

Being a resilient person doesn’t mean you have to face all your difficult situations and challenges alone. Having a good, strong support system of people who care about you and want to help you is a huge tool that can boost your resiliency. 

When you have a few select people you can trust to support you during hard times, you can be more resilient and capable of working through your difficulties more effectively. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak; instead, it makes it easier to be resilient because you are using a helpful resource.

Q: Do all people need a sense of resiliency? 

To be happy and healthy, having a sense of resiliency is crucial. This means all people need to develop a sense of resiliency. While some people may have a naturally stronger sense of resiliency, it is crucial for all people to have at least some ability to be resilient. All people will experience hardship – it is a simple fact of life. Having some sense of resiliency means that you will be able to work through that hardship in a way that is healthy and effective. This makes it a crucial skill for all people to. 

Q: What are the benefits of being a more resilient person?

Being a more resilient person comes with some good benefits. Instead of the following:

  1. You spend less time upset over difficult situations. Rather than allowing a bad situation to tear you down and consume your thoughts, you are able to move through it much quicker. Even though you still feel the negative effects of going through a difficult situation, you are far less likely to let it ruin your life.
  2. You process your emotions effectively. Learning how to actually feel and experience emotions can be super scary and intimidating. However, when you are a resilient person, you understand the importance of working through your emotions in real time. Instead of letting big, bad emotions linger in your life, you understand the importance of dealing with them head-on.