15 Tips To Create A Self-Supportive Mindset

There are many ways that you can be self-supportive.

• One way is to set boundaries with others. This includes learning to say “no” when someone asks you to do something that you don’t want to do or that is not in your best interest.
• Another way to be self-supportive is to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This means eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, and taking time for yourself regularly. It also means surrounding yourself with positive people who will support your goals and dreams.
• Finally, being self-supportive means having a positive outlook on life and believing in yourself even when things are tough.

Learning how to be self-supportive is an important life skill for everyone. If you want to be resilient and thrive through difficult times, it’s crucial that you develop a strong sense of self-support.

The biggest piece of work will be around expanding your awareness to recognize your habits around self-judgment and how it’s holding you back from cultivating a self-supportive mindset. You can start slowly by simply counting the number of times you catch yourself in a self-judgment. That is a powerful exercise that will draw your attention to and expand your awareness of the problem. You might be surprised by how often you fall into the self-judgment trap.

Once you get to grips with this, you can reframe your perspective and use self-compassion to develop your new mindset. With self-judgment comes rejection and denial. But with self-compassion, comes love and recognition. 

When you learn to stop being hypercritical you also learn compassion and tolerance. And if you are non-judgmental when it comes to others, then you can use that to your advantage when it comes to putting a stop to self-judgment.

You can also use visualization as a helpful tool to reimagine your inner self as a mirror image of yourself or another figure that you can imagine yourself being compassionate with. 

Remember, YOU are the only one who can control YOUR life, so make sure that YOU are the one in charge!

1| Determine The Cause 

Every emotion has a root, and so do self-judgments. The brain naturally analyzes any stimuli it encounters in the world. This is a form of judgment, but it allows the brain to assess and adapt to the environment. You can do the same by looking inwardly. You have thousands of thoughts every day, and most of them fly by unquestioned, unnoticed, or unexamined. 

So, it’s time for you to reflect, whether you do so through meditation or otherwise, just push everything else away to focus on your thoughts. Once you are tapped in, you are in touch with a deeper version of yourself. 

The more you do this, the more you will recognize the many imperfections in the way you have been viewing yourself. Start paying attention to what or who is causing those self-judgments and standing between you and a self-supportive mindset. 

2| Practice Self-Love

We’ve already touched on the issue of addressing self-judgment at its root. It can be a useful tool when you use it to understand where it’s coming from and take action as a result. This is a healthy way to take accountability. 

Practicing self-love is about seeking the thoughts that align with self-love. If your thoughts generate self-pity, generating more positive thoughts will generate self-love. Self-pity-generating thoughts will just provide you with more hater material.

So, start being more forgiving with yourself when you do the wrong thing because that’s the most effective way to manifest more right things. If you are your own judge, you should be seeking balance. 

3| Treat Yourself

There is a fairly good chance that your self-judgments are far harsher than any judgments others place on you. You might even see some of the same physical “imperfections” and behaviors in others, yet you treat them kindly.

The degree of separation between you and their situation allows you to be a more objective view. It’s much easier to show kindness to others and overlook their “shortcomings” than it is to show kindness to yourself or overlook your own “shortcomings”. 

Think about the people close to you. The people who share some of your perceived imperfections and think about how much you love them and how much kindness you show to them. What’s the difference between you and them? Only the way you treat yourself. Start practicing self-forgiveness instead of self-loathing.

4| Your Witness

When you notice self-judgment, shift your brain’s gears. Separate yourself from the inner conversation you’re having and refuse to engage with your negative thought. You can acknowledge the thought but do so passively rather than getting defensive about it. This allows the truth of the thought to rise to the surface. 

Self-judgment can be a motivational tool because, despite the evidence, it really isn’t intended to hurt the way it often does. The reason that you are your biggest hater is that you are also your biggest fan. 

The emotional sensitivity you have to some self-judgments is a sign that yours have gone awry and are preventing you from reaching a self-supportive mindset. So, when you notice an emotional sensitivity in response to a self-judgment, be your witness. Take a step back mentally and let go of your emotional sensitivity to simply witness the thought. 

The quickest way to turn a self-judgment into a negative is to process it as something that detracts from your worth. Ground yourself, detach yourself from your ego, and start looking at self-judgment as a different form of love – it isn’t tearing you down, it’s enlightening you and you can address it. 

5| The Power Of Thoughts

We touched on mindfulness because mindfulness is a useful tool for deciphering your thoughts. Are your thoughts contributing to a self-supportive mindset or are they cultivating a mindset of scarcity or negativity? When you take the time to practice mindfulness, it can help you become more conscious of the types of thoughts circulating in your mind. That can help you shift away from negativity.

6| Embrace Gratitude 

Gratitude is a powerful tool and it’s actually one that is widely recognized as a tool for creating happiness. If you spend all of your time focusing on what you don’t have, you will always feel as though it’s not enough.

You will always want more. But if you look at what you do have, you will feel like you have much more. So, actively think thoughts of gratitude to help counter thoughts of self-judgment. You can keep a journal if you like, but having active thoughts of gratitude can be a powerful way to counteract negative emotions related to certain self-judgments. 

7| Accept Imperfection 

Everyone has imperfections and everyone has weaknesses. You don’t need to hide them away or pretend they don’t exist, just like you don’t have to castigate yourself for them. Hiding from them is a great way to make sure you never overcome; you will struggle to cultivate a self-supportive mindset if you don’t deal with them head-on. Acknowledge them and embrace them, they are a part of who you are. 

8| Let Yourself Dream

Do you jump to dismiss yourself every time you dare to dream? Well, it’s time for you to dare to dream. You should never put limits on your dreams because they’re part of your creative side and embracing them identifies opportunities for growth. 

Holding yourself back from dreaming is an act of self-judgment because you are subconsciously telling yourself that you can’t do it. You can do whatever you want, you are capable of doing whatever you want, you just have to believe in yourself. 

9| Embark On A Journey Of Adventure

Commit to trying something new every single day. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is, just go out of your way to do something new. You can make a point of trying something bigger once a week or once a month, but the point is that you go out of your way to expand your horizons. A lot of self-judgment is rooted in an inability to make things happen, which means you need to take small steps to make things happen. 

10| It’s The Experience 

You probably heard the phrase before. Life is about the journey, rather than the destination. And as great as it feels to achieve your goal, the path you took to do so is just as important, if not more. 

There is another facet to the saying – the reason you should focus on your experience rather than the result is that you don’t have to be an expert at something to enjoy doing it. So, focusing on your experience is going to ensure you have more fun. And you may find out you are good at certain things when you relax and enjoy yourself.  

11| Growth, Not Speed 

Rushing is just about the worst thing you can do in this situation. When you slow down and focus on your growth rather than the speed, you’re going to pick up on all the important details and lessons there for the taking. Slow down and allow yourself to engage fully in the process. The results will be more meaningful. 

12| The Power Of Yet

As you embark on a journey of cultivating a self-supportive mindset, change your vocabulary. Start using the word yet to challenge your self-judgments. If you are faced with something new and you feel apprehensive, add yet to your self-judgment. I can’t do this… now add the yet. 

You can do it, you will do it, and by tacking the yet onto the end of your self-judgment you are giving yourself a stark reminder that you can actually. It’s taking critical self-judgments out at the knees before it has a chance to take root. It’s a great way to convince yourself that growth and development are possible, it’s only a matter of time.

13| Cheerlead Yourself

When you take on a new challenge, you may be overwhelmed by self-judgment. You have to create a self-supportive mindset and you can do that by cheerleading yourself. A good habit to cultivate is positive self-talk. 

Think about how great it feels when you master a skill. It’s an incredible feeling. So, as you embark on something new, be sure to lift yourself up the way you would with a friend or family member. 

14| Set Goals 

Every time you achieve your goal, set a new goal. The learning journey never ends. Just like school days, when you finish studying for a test, you take it, and you move on to studying for another test. 

Adulthood is much the same, but with setting and resetting goals of all sizes. In doing so, you constantly propel yourself forward and that helps deal with self-judgment and cultivate a self-supportive mindset. 

15| The Sky Is The Limit 

If there is one major enemy of a self-supportive mindset it’s contracted awareness. When you get caught up in tunnel vision, focused on just one thing, everything else will pass you by. You can’t grab every opportunity if you’re focused elsewhere. So, expand your mind, open your focus, and recognize that the world is there for the taking. 

Final Thoughts

To wrap things up, we will repeat what was said in the beginning of this lesson.

In order to build resilience, it’s important to learn how to recognize and manage
self-judgment and become self-supportive. 

Think of self-judgement as a rock that can crush and crumble you and your efforts when facing challenging times. What you need is a step stool that will uplift you to reach higher and that step stool comes in the form of self-support.