What is emotional regulation?

“Emotion regulation is the ability to exert control over one’s own emotional state. It may involve behaviors such as rethinking a challenging situation to reduce anger or anxiety, hiding visible signs of sadness or fear, or focusing on reasons to feel happy or calm.”

According to Psychology Today

“Emotion regulation is defined as the ability to affect one’s own emotional state. It can involve either increasing positive emotion, decreasing negative emotion, or both. Generally, it involves changing your thoughts or behaviors, sometimes in conscious and sometimes in unconscious ways.”

The Berkeley Wellbeing Institute

Emotional regulation is the ability to control one’s impulses. We’ve all been there before—feeling so overwhelmed with emotions that we lash out in anger or say something we later come to regret. In those moments, it can seem like we have no control over our impulses. That’s where emotional regulation comes in.

Emotional regulation is the process of controlling one’s emotions, impulses, and reactions in order to achieve a desired outcome. When we are able to regulate our emotions, we are better able to manage stress, resolve conflict, and communicate effectively.

It’s biting your tongue and giving yourself to calm down after your partner makes a snide comment. It’s choosing to walk away from a colleague who is trying to get under your skin. Everyone has emotions and everyone experiences their emotions differently. Emotional regulation can be an automatic response, but it can also be a conscious, controlled response. 

You experience a variety of emotions daily, and they run the gamut. There are days when it feels more like an emotional rollercoaster, but the point is, emotions are a normal part of the human experience. They just happen to come in different levels of intensity.