Build Your Resilience
About Lesson

Arguably the most important trait when building resilience is self-confidence. When you believe in yourself and trust your capabilities, you will feel more willing to step out of your comfort zone.

Trusting yourself and your inner strength allows you to be resilient through conflict and obstacles. You are able to let go of self-doubt and will be more motivated to get through challenging times, rather than being hesitant and giving up right away.

Confidence and trust from within take time and practice. As you go through challenging and risky circumstances, you will build up a stronger mindset and things that once seemed impossible will be minor bumps in the road.

In order to build your resilience, you must have the trust in yourself to take on uncertainty and be confident that you have what it takes to accomplish whatever it is that you set out to do.

There are many ways that resilience and confidence go hand-in-hand, so it is important to reflect on your capabilities and determine ways to build up these inner qualities.

What Does Trusting Yourself Mean?

Self-trust means understanding that you are not perfect and will not always have everything figured out, but that you are confident in yourself to determine solutions when conflict arises. It also means that you are able to go with gut feelings and believe that you are making the right choices, rather than hesitating or filling your mind with self-doubt.

When you are supportive of yourself and know your own standards and what you can tolerate, you will exude a sense of self-confidence that will make you less likely to compare yourself to others or look for approval elsewhere.

Anyone can leave us at any time, and nothing is guaranteed, so the only person you can truly trust at the end of the day is yourself. This is why it is important to frequently practice being alone and sitting with your own thoughts because with independence comes a free mind.

Being dependent on others will only disappoint you in the long run so it is up to you to practice the necessary strategies to gain trust within. When you trust yourself, you will ultimately build up the resilience you need to be confident in any situation and become a leader.

Trust and Resilience

When researchers analyze the qualities of highly effective leaders in nearly any study, trust and resilience always top the charts. In order to impact the lives of others, they must be able to trust you.

This trust comes from the confidence you portray and the way you subconsciously feel about yourself. When you are confident and trust yourself to make proper decisions and find solutions without doubting yourself, people who look up to you will see that as a sign of effectiveness.

In order to show self-confidence and the trust you have within to your surroundings, you must have a sense of resilience. This is the mental toughness that you carry with you throughout the day to let go of the negatives and be focused on solutions when obstacles arise.

Resilience means that you are able to overcome setbacks and allow them to make you stronger as you learn through various experiences. Resilience means not knowing the outcome but trusting yourself to make the right choices without hesitation, even when they may impact the lives of many.

Ways to Build Up Self-Trust

Notice Self-Talk

The most important way to build up self-confidence and inner trust is to notice the way you are speaking to yourself both consciously and subconsciously. When something goes wrong or not as planned, ask yourself if you generally get mad and feel stupid or if you see it as a learning opportunity. Notice the way you talk to yourself during difficult situations, because this is likely what is holding you back and causing fear and self-doubt.

We talk to ourselves hundreds of times throughout the day, so it is important to use this fact to our advantage. Replacing negative words with power words and positive mantras can allow us to trust our minds to make the right choices and not react based on emotions.

Some examples of power words include motivated, powerful, capable, confident, and grateful. Use power words throughout your day in order to transform your perspective and boost your self-esteem. Getting used to these words will significantly help you control your emotions and be resilient in times of uncertainty and challenge.

Sit with Your Thoughts

Along with analyzing negative and doubtful self-talk, it is important to sit with your thoughts and truly understand where they are coming from and the emotions they bring about. Negative thinking sends us down a cycle that makes us feel like the world is out to get us and that we are incapable of advancing in life. These thoughts can prevent us from ever stepping out of our comfort zones, so it is important to notice them and get in control of them.

It is important to understand that you are in the driver’s seat of your thoughts, andthoughts lead to beliefs and action. Positive and optimistic thinking is extremely powerful when manifesting goals and overcoming setbacks which builds up resilience and self-confidence.

When you step in and take control of your thoughts, you will be able to let go of the ones that are not benefiting you and replace them with ones that put you closer to accomplishing your goals.

Meditation is a great way to sit with your thoughts. There are millions of guided meditations that can help you when you are first starting out. The most important part of meditation is that it forces you to be present in the moment and let go of regret from the past and fear of the future.

You can observe your thoughts from an outside perspective, allowing you to take control of them and not react to them through emotion. This will build up resilience that is necessary for handling conflict.

Spend Time Alone

Learning how to be independent and let go of your comparison to others and need for approval allows you to feel free. Gaining this independence requires learning more about yourself and the way your own mind works. By spending time alone, you will be able to let go of the dependencies you have and become a more observant person.

Spending time alone allows you to teach yourself the ways that you can become more confident and build up a sense of resilience that will prepare you for when conflicts arise. Rather than looking to others and doubting yourself, you will know that you are capable of uncertainty and setbacks.

Although it can be intimidating to spend time alone when you are not used to it, it will force you to step out of your comfort zone making you more prepared to take risks and embrace uncertainty in future situations. Start by taking yourself to a coffee shop or taking a late-night drive alone. The more time you spend with yourself, the more trust you will gain within and the more you will learn about yourself.

Keep Promises and Make Commitments

Another powerful way to build up the trust you have within is to make promises to yourself that you will keep and make commitments. When you promise yourself something and complete it, you build up inner trust the same way you learn to trust and respect others. By doing exactly what you tell yourself you are going to do, you will feel confident in future situations that your mind is working for you.

Start with little things such as making your bed in the morning or making sure you do all of your dishes before you go to sleep. Small habits like these keep you accountable and efficient and train the mind to stay committed and devoted to your goals.

Staying committed to your goals allows you to trust yourself to not give up when times get challenging and difficult. Not only will this allow you to reach your goals more efficiently, you will also become and more productive person overall.

Making promises and commitments to yourself allows you to hold yourself accountable and stay motivated on your own, rather than depending on deadlines from others. Being a resilient person means not giving up and keeping your commitments, so trusting yourself is extremely important.

Avoid Toxic People

When building up trust from within, it is not only important to look at your own thoughts and emotions. It is crucial to analyze your surroundings and the people in your life, because these can have huge impacts on your mental wellbeing. When others around you are insecure, they will try to lower you down to their level and will constantly doubt you, which will make you question your decisions.

Avoiding toxic people in your life can be a daunting task, since likely these people are very comfortable around you and have been with you for a long period of your life. It is never easy to cut someone out of your life, even if you know that they are impacting your mental health, but it is important to analyze ways that you can distance yourself.

By noticing the way these people are affecting you, you can take a step back and realize who lifts you up and allows you to become the best version of yourself.

Trusting yourself requires you to be honest about who you surround yourself with. When you look at the way they make you feel, you are able to see who would be there for you when challenging times occur. This will make the decision to distance yourself much easier and will make you more resilient in the long run.


Being a resilient person and making able to make tough decisions requires a lot of mental toughness. It requires you to be very honest with yourself and have an open mind about many aspects of your life. This requires being independent and taking time for yourself in order to sit with and analyze your thoughts and emotions.

When you are able to be independent and release your need of approval from others, you are able to truly free the mind and find confidence and self-trust. Confidence increases your performance significantly and will allow people to gain respect and trust for you.

This is a positive cycle that leads you to becoming the best version of yourself and teaches you to trust your own decisions and solutions during times of uncertainty.

When you no longer fear the unknown and trust yourself, you are able to take risks and step out of your comfort zone in ways that you were not able to in the past.