Confidence 101
About Lesson

What It Means To Have Confidence In Your Support System

Having confidence in your support system means you have trust in a group of people in your life to be there for you when you need their help. Whether you have physical needs, emotional needs, or other types of needs, your support system will be there to help support you through your challenges.

When you feel confident in your personal support system, you trust that they’ll be there ready to help you when you need it most. You never doubt their presence in your life and know that they’ll be ready to help when you reach out to them. 

Similarly, because of your confidence in them, they also feel a similar confidence in you as a part of their support systems – the relationship is often mutual, especially when your support system is made up of good friends and/or family members.

7  Benefits Of Having Confidence In Your Support System

There are a variety of benefits associated with having confidence in your support system. For example, having confidence in your support system….

1| Provides anxiety relief. 

When you have confidence in your support system, you feel less anxious because you know you have a group of people who are ready and willing to help you when you need it most. You never fear having to face hardship alone – you know that your support system will be able to help you however they can during your challenges.

2| Gives you a deep sense of trust with others. 

Being confident in your support system requires a lot of trust. While you must trust your support system to stay by your side, the relationship tends to be mutual. The people in your support system likely consider you a member of their support systems as well. 

Because you and the members of your support system share this type of trust with each other, those relationships are often incredibly deep and meaningful. Being able to trust someone to be there with you during your hardships requires a special level of commitment to each other. 

3| Teaches you better, more effective coping skills. 

When you have a support system, you tend to develop better coping skills. This is because having a support system requires you to really communicate with those people in that innermost circle. 

For example, when you’re struggling and you reach out to someone in your support system for help, you end up explaining all the details of what’s happening in your life to them – this type of open communication is most conducive to problem solving and really coping with the issue at hand. Because you have these people with whom you can be truly vulnerable, you’re more likely to develop better coping skills. 

4| Encourages you to reach out to someone when you’re having a tough time.

People with confidence in their support systems aren’t afraid to use them. When you have a strong support system, you likely don’t think twice about calling up your parents or a good friend when you’re really struggling. 

People without these types of relationships in their lives have a harder time reaching out when they need help. Sometimes their challenges can become increasingly worse, leading to even more trouble when their tough times deepen. 

By building confidence in your support system, you’re increasing your comfort with reaching out to other people when you’re struggling rather than trying to get through your struggles alone.

5| Helps you maintain an overall better mood. 

Knowing that you have a good support system can help you maintain a better mood, even when things are difficult in your life. When you feel confidence in your support system, you know that those people are there if you really need them. 

By removing the anxiety of needing help and not being able to get it, you’re able to focus your attention on other parts of your life that are more important. This can help you maintain an overall better mood. 

6| Develops a sense of belonging. 

Human beings are highly social creatures. We like being involved with groups of people who relate to us, whether those similarities are cultural, interest-based, experienced-based, or beyond. Being able to talk and interact with people who understand different aspects of our lives helps build a strong sense of community, which is attractive to a social creature.

When you feel confident in your support system, you’ve developed a very special sense of belonging. Your support system relates to you on many different levels, but most importantly, they relate to you on some of the deepest levels you’re able to experience. Because these people know the intimacies of your existence, you inevitably develop a keen sense of belonging with them.

7| Encourages healthy and open communication. 

When you talk to your support system, you are talking to people with whom you’ve developed a deep sense of trust. Because of that trust, you are able to communicate very comfortably with the people in your support system. 

Being comfortable in communication with your support system encourages you to be thorough and descriptive when you’re having discussions with them. 

Rather than feeling like you need to mask your emotions or omit details, you feel compelled to be totally honest with them. This healthy and open communication is a result of feeling confident in your support system. 

15 Tips For Developing More Confidence In Your Support System

With some practice and strategy, you can build more confidence in your support system. Often, building confidence in your support system involves a lot of reflection and consideration for who you really want to be involved in that intimate part of your life.
To increase your confidence in your support system, consider the following tips to get started:

1| Take stock of the people who are closest to you in your life. 

When you consider all the people in your life, who uplifts you most? When you consider your friends and family members, you’ll likely realize that some people are closer and more supportive than others. This is normal – human beings form a wide variety of different relationships with many people throughout their lives, and those many relationships can vary in degree of closeness. 

Consider the people who are closest to you. What makes those relationships feel closest or most special to you? 

Taking time to ponder those qualities that make those relationships feel like your closest ones is an important way to understand them best. When you know what makes a relationship special for you, it’s easier to build your confidence in your support system. 

2| Give yourself permission to cut out toxic relationships. 

Toxic relationships are a confidence sucker. If you allow a toxic relationship to continue as-is in your life, it becomes incredibly difficult to maintain any self confidence in your support system. A toxic person has no home in your innermost group of trusted people. 

If you recognize that a person is a toxic presence in your life, especially if they’re a part of your innermost support system, cutting them loose is your best tactic. While this can be painful, it’s better to protect your confidence in your support system rather than allowing someone toxic to have any say as a person you turn to for support and encouragement. If they aren’t providing that for you, then they are not the right fit for that role in your life. 

Sometimes, you can’t totally eliminate a toxic person from your life, but you can take control of how your relationship with that person functions. 

For example, you may have a sibling whose presence in your life is toxic. You may choose to keep them in your life, but you have the power to change how that relationship functions through establishing boundaries and enforcing them. 

3| Get yourself involved in groups or classes of people who have similar interests as you.

A great way to build your support system is to surround yourself with other people who understand your goals and interests. 

For example, a student may join a study group – not only do they get the benefit of studying with others, but they also enjoy the camaraderie of working with other students who understand their own classroom experience.

As you meet more people who relate to your own goals and interests, you’ll build more confidence in your personal support system.

4| Make an effort to get to know more of your neighbors, coworkers, and other people casual acquaintances. 

We run into many people on a regular basis each day. You may wave to your neighbor each morning, see the same cashier at the grocery store, and pass coworkers in the stairwell each day. Out of all these people, how many of them can you say you truly know?

Take time to build better relationships with these people. Actually getting to know them is a great way to build your confidence in your support system. You may not develop super close, extra strong relationships with these folks, but getting to know them better does create a stronger layer of support if you ever needed them (or if they needed you!).

5| Join professional organizations related to your career field. 

You can build self confidence in your support system at work, too. Research professional organizations related to your career field and see what is required to join them.

Often, these types of organizations seek to link people closer together. When you begin building these professional relationships with others, you build a different area of your support system – these are people who understand your work struggles and can offer insight and advice from someone who knows exactly what you’re experiencing. 

6| Keep in touch with the people who matter most to you. 

As busy adults, you may find that you don’t always have time to spend with your friends and family as much as you’d like. Over time, this can damage your confidence in your support system. 

Foster those precious connections by staying in touch with the people inside that innermost circle. Send them letters, emails, and greeting cards when you have a chance. Call them to catch up on a regular basis. While you may not be able to meet up in-person as often as you’d like, you can still protect your self confidence in your support system by maintaining the communication lines.

7| When someone offers to help you, accept it. 

Even with a great support system, some people won’t accept help from those people for a variety of reasons. Perhaps they’re embarrassed of a problem they have. Sometimes, people may feel weak about accepting help when they’re facing a problem. 

Learning how to accept help from others when they offer it helps build your confidence in your support system. When you feel yourself embracing the kindness of others (and seeing the positive influence it has in your life), it becomes easier to feel confident in how your support system can help you.

8| Respect your needs as well as the needs of others.

All people have limits. While respecting your needs is important, it’s also important to support the needs of the others you have in your support system. Sometimes, you may need help, but the people in your support system aren’t able to help you right then or in the way you need.

To maintain these relationships, make sure you’re respecting their needs. While you may also need something from them, damaging the relationship by pushing their boundaries won’t solve your problem. 

9| Use the power of the internet to find extra support. 

The internet is a valuable tool for boosting confidence in your support system. The age of social media and connectivity makes it easier than ever to find other people who can relate to you on a variety of levels. 

On the internet, you can find groups of people who understand your work struggles, your medical conditions, your hobbies, and your personality quirks. Being able to instantly connect and speak with a group of people who “get” the things you experience makes it simple to build confidence in your support system by growing it even further.

10| Get involved in team sports or group exercise classes.

Joining team sports leagues or group exercise classes is an excellent way to build confidence in your support system. Not only will you be able to meet new people and form relationships with them, but you’ll also improve your physical health through exercise as well. 

Getting regular exercise helps boost your endorphins as well; the more you exercise and spend time with others, the better you’ll feel overall and the higher your confidence will soar.

11| Make yourself available for the folks who consider you a part of their support systems. 

Having your support system available is important. However, being supportive is a two way street. While you depend on your support system for help, those folks are also depending on you, too. 

Make yourself available to the people in your support system for when they need help. Keeping your communication open and clear about when you need help and when you can provide it is important for keeping your self-confidence high in your support system.

12| Consider some non-human possibilities when you’re seeking new members for your support system. 

Pets make fantastic companions. If you think a cat, dog, or other common pet can’t make a valuable member of your support system team, think again – science has proven that the bond between an owner and their animal friend can be incredibly strong and valuable for both parties in this special kind of relationship. 

While your pet can’t have a full conversation with you, they can help bolster your confidence by being a special part of your support system that offers company, affection, and unconditional love.

13| Tell the people you value how much they mean to you often. 

The people in your support system are special – make sure they know you feel this way! Doing so will ensure that you can retain a lot of confidence in them as your support system. 

Also, as a part of their support system, you are reinforcing your love, affection, and support for them as well. Regular communication is key, and when you’re communicating how much they mean to you, that appreciation is made very clear. 

14| Make an emergency plan for when your support system might fail. 

Sometimes a support system can fail when you need it most. This isn’t a bad thing – the people you love and trust also have their own individual lives and may not be available for conversation when you need it most. 

When you’re feeling particularly needy for your support system and they aren’t available to help you, consider having some emergency backup options in your pocket. There are a wide variety of hotlines available to folks experiencing all sorts of mental health issues, ranging from suicidal thoughts to depression and beyond. 

15| Consider adding a professional to your support system.

A therapist or counselor are fantastic to have in your support system. A mental health professional such as a therapist or counselor can give you valuable insight into your mental health and well-being that your good friends and family members can’t – because they aren’t directly involved in your everyday life, they can give you a purely objective point of view when you tell them about your life. 

Also, a life coach can help you stay on track in all areas of your life. Whether you need support to stay motivated, help in developing and achieving goals or simply have a guide in your personal development journey a life coach can be a tremendous tool for making you feel very confident in your support system. 

Case Study: Understanding What Having Confidence in Your Support System Looks Like 

Examining an example of a self-confident person can help you better understand what having confidence in your support system looks like. To gain a better understanding of having confidence in your support system, consider Anna. 

The last month of Anna’s life is the most challenging one she’s ever experienced. Her older sister died very suddenly because of a car accident. Anna and her sister were extremely close; when Anna learned that her sister didn’t survive the accident, it felt like her entire world stopped moving. 

In the days following the accident, Anna’s personal support system sprung into action. Her mom and dad were also struggling, so unfortunately, they weren’t able to console Anna much during this difficult time. However, her aunts and uncles brought over lots of meals, spent time with them, and helped them make funeral arrangements. 

During the days following the funeral, Anna’s roommate ensured that she had everything she needed to mourn and grieve once she returned home. The roommate bought groceries, prepared meals, kept the apartment clean, and made sure Anna had clean clothes to wear. 

As the days turned into weeks, Anna reached out to a therapist. While she appreciated the massive amounts of support and help she was receiving from her support system, she felt like talking to someone outside of the experience would be a healthy way to start really processing her emotions. 

Although the past month of her life was terrible, Anna realized that she had a fantastic support system she could depend on in times of trouble. In this tragedy, her friends and family really stepped forward to help her through the worst experience of her life. While her pain is real, Anna takes comfort in knowing that she has a lot of great people in her life who are there to help her when she needs it.

The Bottom Line

The more diverse your support system, the more confidence you will have in it!

Being able to trust and have confidence in your personal support system is an important element in excelling in life. 

Having a diverse group of people you can trust to help you when you need it most and be supportive of your needs is a key component to leading a healthy, happy, and successful life. 

While some people may naturally acquire a strong support system over the course of their lives, others may need to develop one based on their unique experiences and needs. 

Whether your support system is composed of friends, family members, mental health professionals, spiritual counselors, teachers, or others, building confidence in your support system is essential for your wellbeing.

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