What It Means To Have Self Confidence

Self-confidence is defined as having a strong sense of trust in your own abilities, qualities, and judgment. A self-confident person believes in themselves; they know they’re able to make good choices because they trust their abilities to do so. 

A self-confident person has a strong sense of trust in their own unique abilities. For example, a self-confident teacher believes strongly in his abilities to lead his classroom successfully. A self-confident mayor believes strongly in her abilities to make good choices for her community. Self-confident parents believe strongly in their abilities to do their very best at raising their children, and so on. 

Being able to trust your own qualities is another important part of being self-confident. Self-confident people know themselves very well; they have a thorough understanding of all their personal qualities that make them unique human beings. 

By understanding all those qualities, they understand how to use those qualities to enhance their own lives and the world around them. 

For example, a self-confident person who understands that they have very loving qualities trust their ability to share that love with the world – they may be excellent friends or caretakers for those who need a loving person by their side. 

And finally, a self-confident person trusts in their own judgment. Because they trust in themselves to make good, sound decisions, self-confident people often have an excellent sense of judgment. When they must make a decision, a self-confident person knows they have all the personal tools necessary to make the best choice.

6 Benefits Of Being A Self-Confident Person

Being a self-confident person comes with a variety of benefits.

1| Self-confidence comes with less anxiety. 

When you feel confident in yourself, you experience less anxiety. According to the mental health experts at Very Well Mind, people who struggle with generalized anxiety disorder (and other anxiety-related ailments) often find that they have low self-confidence or self-esteem. 

Without self-confidence, it’s difficult to believe in yourself or your ability to make good choices. If you’re constantly worrying about whether you can do something correctly or make the best choice, you’re experiencing increased anxiety. People with self-confidence don’t necessarily live anxiety-free lives, but they do not experience any additional anxiety about themselves. 

2| Self-confidence allows you much more opportunity in life.

Feeling confident in yourself allows the world to really open up for you. By having trust in yourself, you’ll find yourself trying more new things, having more new experiences, and meeting more new people. All this “newness” leads to a lot of opportunities in life. 

Self-confident people aren’t afraid to try new things. They understand that sometimes their adventures will lead to success and other times, failures. However, they do not allow the possibility of failure to stop them from pursuing a new opportunity. 

3| Self-confidence makes it easier to widen your social circle. 

Because self-confident people have a good understanding of who they are, they enjoy reaching out to new people and establishing connections with them. 

Self-confident person isn’t afraid of talking to someone new – they see all introductions to new people as a chance to make a new friend. They are confident in their abilities to present themselves well to new people, making the process of getting to know someone much more comfortable. 

4| Self-confidence allows you to have a better overall self-image.

A self-confident person feels good about themselves. They are comfortable with who they are, accept themselves, and understand their unique traits and quirks. This doesn’t mean a self-confident person is perfect; in fact, it’s quite the opposite!

Self-confidence means you have a good understanding of yourself. You accept yourself for everything you are, including your strengths and weaknesses. A self-confident person has a strong self-image because they embrace their strengths, strive to improve the aspects of themselves that can be changed, and accept the parts of themselves that can’t be changed.

5| Self-confidence lends itself to a more positive attitude and outlook on life. 

Self-confidence leaves you feeling good about yourself. With this level of comfort and ease in your own skin, it’s much easier to have a positive perspective about other aspects of your life.

When your focus isn’t on worrying about yourself (for example, on insecurities or unnecessary anxiety about your abilities), you’re able to turn your attention outward on other experiences and adventures. 

Your overall attitude and outlook on life will be much more positive when you’re able to actually enjoy it and embrace it fully. 

6| Self-confidence makes anything possible.

When you believe in yourself and have that ultimate feeling of confidence it opens up a wealth of opportunities. Anything is possible because you believe in yourself and your abilities. 

15 Tips For Developing A Stronger Sense Of Self Confidence

Fortunately, self-confidence can be learned. It’s natural to experience dips in self confidence from time to time. Some people experience them periodically due to life experiences or circumstances that leave them feeling less than confident in their own abilities. 

Everyone experiences lowered self-confidence differently – for some people, it’s fleeting and temporary; for others, it’s far more damaging and long lasting. 

No matter how you experience a lack of self-confidence, it is possible to rekindle and bolster it back to a healthy level again. To get started, consider these fifteen tips to help increase your own sense of self confidence. 

1| Always keep track of your successes. Document them, revisit them, and give yourself credit for what you’ve accomplished – no matter how big or small those wins might be.

Every success is worth acknowledgement. No, you won’t be making giant strides and massive wins every single day, but you accomplish lots of small wins each day that are absolutely worth celebrating. 

For example, did you get to work on time every day this week? Give yourself kudos. Did you finish a whole book? Give yourself kudos. Did you master that new recipe you tried? Give yourself kudos. You get the idea! Regularly acknowledging the things you do well, no matter how big or small they might be, fosters an environment where self-confidence can flourish.

2| Break down your bigger goals into smaller, more manageable ones.

Sometimes, people put far too much on themselves at one time. Having big goals and ambitions is fine – dreaming big is a wonderful way to keep yourself motivated to actually push forward and meet those goals. However, sometimes having those big goals looming over your head can feel intimidating, making it tough to continue believing in your ability to actually meet them. 

In this scenario, consider breaking down those bigger goals into something smaller and more manageable. For example, if your big goal is to finish your college degree, you can boost your self-confidence by making this big goal more manageable. 

Instead of picturing your entire goal as “finishing a college degree,” break it down into smaller goals, such as “get an A in this difficult class” and “complete every assignment on time this semester.” 

These smaller goals are all components of your bigger goal – as you meet these smaller ones, you’ll be able to celebrate those wins and push yourself closer to that big goal in a less daunting way, which is a major self confidence booster.

3| Make yourself write a list of twenty (yes, twenty) aspects about yourself that you admire. 

This may sound a bit cheesy but creating a list of aspects you appreciate about yourself is an excellent way to raise your self-confidence. Twenty individual things may seem like a long list, but really challenge yourself to come up with them all. 

Your twenty things don’t have to be anything excessive, major, or over-the-top. For example, your list of things you admire about yourself could include….

• Your neat handwriting 
• Your ability to make new friends easily 
• Your neatness and cleanliness
• Your ability to beat your personal records when you run 5ks 
• Your fashion sense 
• Your ability to sew 
• Your love of learning and knowledge 
• Your ability to cook delicious meals 
• Your ability to paint your nails that makes them look professionally done 
• Your calmness
• ….and many, many more! 

As this list exemplifies, your list of twenty things can include just about anything! All people are unique, and the aspects of your being that you find most admirable will be unique to who you are. 

After you create your list, keep it somewhere you can revisit easily and often. Read over it when you need a self confidence boost. For an added bonus, keep adding to your list when you think of something new you can add to it. 

4| Practice taking compliments to heart whenever you receive them. 

Unfortunately, many people have the bad habit of pushing compliments aside whenever they receive them. They may downplay the other person’s kindness, insisting that whatever the other person is trying to say, “isn’t true” or “isn’t a big deal.”

Instead of shooing away these kind comments, learn how to accept compliments and really take them seriously. Taking compliments to heart is a good way to build up your self-confidence. Your acceptance of the compliments helps gear your mind toward actually accepting them.

When you practice taking a compliment to heart, begin by telling the person a simple “thank you” instead of challenging the validity of what they’re trying to tell you. 

Over time, you’ll notice that accepting these compliments rather than brushing them aside helps you begin to accept them for what they are – the truth! You’ll feel yourself beginning to believe those kind words, creating an instant confidence booster.

5| Carve out some time every day to practice some self-care.

Taking good care of yourself is good for many aspects of your life – self-confidence included! It’s easier to feel good about yourself and your abilities when you’re giving yourself a chance to relax and recharge. 

Self-care activity preferences differ from person to person. Finding activities that help you feel rejuvenated is key. Some examples of self-care activities include….

• Treating yourself to a favorite meal or treat from a restaurant you enjoy 
• Taking a long nap 
• Taking a hot, steamy bath or shower 
• Spending time engaging in an activity you enjoy doing, such as reading, crocheting, scrapbooking, etc.
• Catching up on your favorite TV shows
• Treating yourself to a manicure or pedicure (or both!)
• Giving yourself permission to turn off your emails and cell phone notifications in the evenings 
• ….and many more! 

When you’re taking care of yourself, you’re able to boost your self-confidence. 

6| Create a positive mantra (or two) you can recite every day. Write it down somewhere where you’ll see it regularly. 

Mantras are powerful meditation tools with a history that stretches backward centuries in time. Even thousands of years ago, mantras were used to help people center themselves, calm their minds, and focus their thoughts. 

You can harness the same power of mantras in your current, present-day life. Create a short and simple mantra that’s easy to read and repeat whenever you need a reminder to boost your self-confidence. You may write yours down and post it to your refrigerator or bathroom mirror so you’ll see it a few times each day. 

Your mantra doesn’t need to be lengthy or complicated. For example, it can be as short and simple as “I believe in myself” or “I know I can do good things.” 

When you see your mantra, repeat it to yourself multiple times. Doing so accomplishes a few important things:

• It refocuses your thoughts on what really needs your focus 
• It reinforces positive thoughts about yourself 
• It stops negative thinking in its tracks 

7| Find a trusted group of people to serve as your support system.

Self-confidence does come from within yourself, but a great way to build it is to have a good support system on your side. Your support system is usually made up of people you trust, such as your close friends and family members. 

These are people you can trust when you’re struggling or need help – for example, if you find yourself wrestling with a difficult problem, these would be the people you’d seek advice from first. 

Spending time with people in your support system is excellent for your self-confidence. While this support is coming from outside of yourself, your support system will help reinforce positive thinking within you – as you speak with them, spend time with them, and enjoy their company, you’re allowing that positivity to spread over into your own thinking. 

8| Find something new and interesting you can learn more about.

Learning something new is a great way to raise self-confidence. For example, have you always wanted to learn how to cook like a professional chef? Do you want to improve your weight lifting game? Are you interested in learning how to master the art of calligraphy? Find a way to learn! 

Getting yourself involved in learning about a new topic or skill boosts your self-confidence because it grows your abilities and knowledge. 

When you know and understand more, you feel better about yourself. Seeing yourself learn how to do something new is also very empowering. Choose something you’ve always wanted to learn more about, grab your supplies, sign up for that class, and get started! 

9| Determine what your personal boundaries are and establish them where they’re needed.

Personal boundaries are great tools. Not only do they protect your sanity and your comfort from outside intrusion, but they’re also great for keeping your self-confidence intact. If your self-confidence needs more boosting, determine your personal boundaries, and begin enforcing them where you need to do so. 

For example, if you have a friend who constantly pushes against your comfort zone, identify exactly what they’re doing that causes you to feel that way. 

Determine where your boundary lies with that particular action and then communicate that boundary with them. When you protect your boundaries, you’re able to better protect yourself and your self-confidence. 

10| Give yourself permission to try a new look or style that interests you.

Trying a new look or style is an instant self confidence booster. Sometimes, trying a new style can feel a little frightening – how will people react to that new outfit or hair cut? 

However, if you feel deeply about a certain new style and want to try it out, give yourself permission to do it. Changing up your personal style in a way that interests you is a great way to give yourself an instant shot of power to your self-confidence. Feeling good in your own skin is important; if you want to try that hair cut or new outfit, go for it and enjoy those feel-good vibes from your new look! 

11| Practice turning your negative thoughts and self-talk into something positive (and likely more truthful).

Negative thinking is a self-confidence killer. If you find yourself regularly trapped in a pattern of negative thinking, learning how to stop those thoughts and replace them with more positive and truthful thinking is important to protect your self-confidence. 

Often, negative thoughts are rooted in irrational fears that are often untrue. For example, consider the following negative thought:

“Those people are going to laugh at me if I try to talk to them.” 

This thought is guilty of trying to “predict the future” – you have no way of knowing if those people will be that cruel to you when you try to talk to them for the first time. This thought does nothing except make you feel cruddy about yourself and damage your self-esteem! 

Instead, replace that thought with something more positive (and truthful):

“If I go talk to those people, I might make some new friends.”

This thought is more truthful. It’s far more likely that you’ll have a pleasant interaction with those new people versus a cruel one, and it focuses on the positivity of the possibility rather than the negative.

12| Practice saying one kind thing to yourself every day. 

Besides taking compliments from others, try giving some to yourself. Did you do well on a presentation at work? Tell yourself! Did you finally beat that hard level in a video game? Tell yourself that you did a good job! 

You may feel silly actually saying these things aloud, but it serves as positive reinforcement for your mind. The more frequently you hear yourself talking positively to yourself, the more you’ll feel your self-confidence soar.

13| Do some kindness for someone who needs it. 

Spreading kindness to others is a great way to boost your own self confidence. Not only does reaching out to help others in need give them support, but it also supports your self-confidence.

Seeing yourself doing good for someone else and being a positive force in the world helps you view yourself more positively as well. Spreading kindness to others, whether you’re helping a friend, getting involved in a cause that matters to you, or helping a stranger out in public, is always a self confidence booster.

14| Focus on your personal strengths. 

Everyone has a unique set of strengths and weaknesses. Even the most confident people have weaknesses and shortcomings – it’s a normal part of being a human! 

While you may have weaknesses, a great way to boost your self-confidence is to focus on your strengths. Consider all the things you do well and let those be your “driving force.” Use your skills and talents to do good in the world whenever you can. 

15| Practice accepting criticism with grace.

Hearing something critical about yourself can feel challenging. Nobody likes to be told that someone else finds issue with them or something they’re doing. It can often feel like a personal attack and can damage your self-confidence. 

Learning how to accept criticism gracefully is a great way to boost your confidence. For example, instead of allowing yourself to immediately feel upset or depressed when someone tells you something about yourself that you find upsetting, allow yourself to consider what that person is really saying – is there truth to it? 

If so, take a critical look at yourself and your actions. This criticism may be valuable information you can use to improve yourself. 

Case Study: Understanding What Self Confidence Looks Like 

Examining an example of a self-confident person can help you better understand what self-confidence looks like. To gain a better understanding of self-confidence, consider Gerald. 

Gerald is a bookseller. He opened his small used book store last year in his hometown. Gerald’s greatest passion is reading – he’s been a complete bookworm since childhood, and he always wanted to find a way to turn that passion into his career. 

At first, Gerald was hesitant. There were a lot of scary “what ifs” that clouded his brain when he considered everything that could go wrong by opening his own business. He could lose his entire investment. 

His neighbors, family, and friends living in the area might not support his idea as strongly as he hoped. He could experience a serious accident – what if the store caught on fire, or there was a burglary? These thoughts swirled through Gerald’s mind at first, but then he silenced them with the power of his self-confidence. 

First, Gerald stopped his “all or nothing” thinking pattern by making himself consider the equally possible and more positive outcomes of choosing to open his business. For example, yes, his business could fail and he could lose his entire investment – but he could also see great success and watch his investment pay off greatly. 

Gerald realized that he shouldn’t try to predict the future through worrying; instead, he should focus his energies on doing what he could to ensure a good outcome. 

Next, Gerald spent time going to local book interest meet-ups and learning how to operate a business and bookstore online with other people operating similar businesses as him. Gerald learned that there was an entire community of small bookshop owners online, all willing to discuss tips, tricks, and strategies to keep their various shops running well. 

Although Gerald is new to the bookselling business, he felt comfortable being vulnerable about his “newness” to the scene of being a business owner and communicated his needs to these other people – in the end, his self-confidence paid off. 

Not only did he learn a lot of great information from this big community, but he also established a lot of valuable relationships with other small business booksellers. 

The Bottom Line

Self-confidence is a major aspect of a happy and pleasant human life. Self-confidence helps people excel in everything because it creates an inner sense of self power and ability. 

Learning how to bolster and support your self-confidence is a lifelong venture. It’s natural to experience dips in your self-confidence from time to time, but it is possible to regain it again. 

Using strategies to protect and develop your self-confidence is a constant effort; making those strategies part of your healthy habits routine is the best way to ensure you maintain a strong sense of self confidence.