Love

If you think about the things you love, you could probably create an endless list. Coffee, chocolate, pie, cake, family, a single pair of jeans, this actor, that actor, three musicians, your friends, etc. Of course, there are all different types of love, as evidenced by your list. The way you love your parents is different from how you love your friends, which is different from how you love romantic partners or your children.

Couples who find themselves in a long-term relationship will tie love to trust, commitment, and loyalty. While teens experiencing puppy love will likely associate the word with complicated feelings that often get messy. For parents, love means patience, protection, and nurturing.

No matter where you are, you likely have your own opinion on what love is or what it means.

It’s security, it’s commitment, it’s patience, it’s giving (and taking), it’s respectful, being in sync, sentimental, vulnerable, growth, understanding, communication, equality, and acceptance. Love takes many forms.

What is love in terms of being a fruit of the spirit? Absolute surrender. To yourself and others. Evidence of love in your life means that you look after yourself and others. You have empathy, you are compassionate, you value yourself, and you value others.

People make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you cut them off and take your love away. Very few mistakes are too great to conquer love. You’ve heard people say they wear their heart on their sleeve. Well, you can wear your love for the world to see.

Joy

It’s deeper than simple happiness. Are you familiar with the survey that identifies the happiest countries? They come out every year, and it’s typically the same countries who dominate. What’s interesting is the approach these surveyors take to determine the results. The questions home in on the key areas that affect your contentment, directly or indirectly.

They cover your sense of purpose, your financial situation, your physical health, social connections, and community involvement. You might not feel as content or discontent as the rest of the people in the country. Your joy is your own and there is more nuance to consider. Context really is key.

Your decisions are made based on information, but the information you receive has been shaped by environment and circumstances. If you compare your joy to the joy of others, then you might be in better shape than you feel.

However, there doesn’t really matter in terms of self. Your joy matters in the context of you and that’s okay. However, contentment is very much subjective. What brings you joy might not bring joy to another. Your joy must be defined by you.

There is a difference between feeling happy and truly being happy. The feeling is fleeting. It can go just as quickly as it came. Sadly, this is the type of joy we tend to home in on. It’s the one we try to capture and the way we go about that merely fuels our need to capture more of it. We fuel that fleeting feeling. That’s human. However, joy runs deeper. It’s gratitude, appreciation, and balance. All of which is lost in the noise of instant gratification.

True joy is kids that drive you nuts, but still being thankful for them. It’s about appreciating the fact that your job puts a roof over your head, even if it’s not perfect. It’s about understanding that while things could be better, they could be worse, and you’re doing just fine.

• Perspective- it requires work to maintain this level of satisfaction. It’s all down to perspective. A healthy perspective allows you to think about life and evaluate it from every angle. You can recognize that you’re going through a difficult time, and still view it through the lens of it could be worse. That doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to experience negative feelings; it just means you learn to be better at processing these feelings.
• Gratitude– gratitude isn’t easy, but it is simple. It’s all about being grateful for where you are, what you have, and who you are. If you practice it regularly it will become second nature to you. You’ll soon realize that every glass is half-full.
• Balance– without balance, gratitude and perspective can only carry you so far. Talk of work/life balance has become almost fashionable. The truth is, that people now recognize that allowing work to consume every aspect of their lives isn’t healthy. We have turned into a people who live to work, rather than simply living to work

That balance is different for everyone. However, if you struggle with gratitude and can’t get perspective, you might want to reconsider your balance. Has one started tipping the scales in the wrong direction? You can find joy when you dig deep.

Gentleness

What comes to mind when you think of gentleness? It often conjures up images of cuddly puppies, kittens, and babies. Perhaps your mind drifts to an opening scene that involves a young couple tenderly picking flowers in a field. Often, we think of gentleness in terms of weakness.

The truth is there is strength in this fruit of the spirit. You might be wondering how you can embody gentleness when there is nothing mild or meek about you. It won’t come naturally. Gentleness doesn’t mean being demure, serious or always quiet. It’s less about your personality and more about your attitude.

The best way to describe it is to think of a young child. One who throws a temper tantrum when things don’t go their way, or they don’t get what they want. The reason that many small children throw tantrums at this stage of their life is that they don’t have the verbal skills or emotional maturity to communicate their feelings, needs, and wants.

Their tantrum is borne of frustration. When this occurs, a parent will (or should) address the issue with gentleness. It’s the most effective way to deal with the situation because the child is forced to quiet down to hear what you are saying.

A gentle attitude is about acknowledging the feelings of others and taking appropriate steps to respond. It isn’t condoning bad behavior, it’s meeting people’s needs. If you look at the world around you, you will see clearly that it’s not a gentle one. You wish someone would treat you with the gentleness just described, don’t you? Don’t you wish you offered that gentleness as well?

Gentleness is kindness, love, and grace. You can show gentleness by putting others first and doing so selflessly. It doesn’t hurl insults or speak down to people who think or look differently. It recognizes that we are all human and to err is human. It extends grace even in the most difficult of circumstances. It’s a soft response to a harsh question. It isn’t weakness, it’s strength in action.

Peace

There is a link between happiness and inner peace. For, in your pursuit of peace you will find happiness as you are connecting to your desires and needs. There is more than one meaning to peace. Global peace is a harmonious relationship between countries, while inner peace is personal. When we talk about peace, we typically think about it in terms of the world. It’s the absence of fighting and violence. For personal peace, it’s mental calmness.

Ultimately, inner peace is the ability to self-regulate your emotions. It doesn’t mean the absence of anxiety, desires or worry. It simply means that you have the presence and calm mind required to deal with anything that life throws at you. Peace and happiness go hand in hand because many of the concepts of both are intertwined.

Both are tied to our wellbeing and satisfaction with life. Countries who are considered peaceful tend to be happier than those who aren’t. People who report a level of inner peace tend to be happier. Both are tied to positive psychology.

Faithfulness

Kids ask a lot of questions. Their questioning only increases as they learn to read. Suddenly, a whole new world has opened up to them. When you’re in the car ferrying them here, there, and everywhere, they can read all the signs of the world around them.

Things that you know and take for granted are curiosities to small children. Children want to know what this is or what it means or what it does. Which begs the question, is it possible for you to be something or embody it if you don’t really know what it means? In this case, faithfulness.

Full of faith. That sums it up, but what does that mean? Well, if you want to be kind, you have to act kindly. If you want to be loving, then you have to love. Therefore, if you wish to be full of faith, you must act your faith. Whatever that might be. You should be faithful in your romantic relationships; however, you choose to define it for yourselves.

You should be faithful to nurturing your spirit. Faithful in keeping your word. You can show your faith in action by being courteous, by spending time nurturing your spirit health or, by spending time with yourself in silence.

Patience

This virtue is one we tend to think others need more of, but don’t consider our own. Do you lose your temper easily? Are you quick to anger when something or someone is frustrating you? You can’t expect patience from others when you yourself aren’t patient.

It’s easy to feel frustrating churn itself into anger. You feel it on the inside, it’s bubbling up and even when you try to contain it, it escapes from your lips. You can find your peace in several ways. One of which is putting yourself in a time

Not as you would a child but separating yourself from the frustration. You can also nurture your patience by meditating or, by waiting it out. What does that mean? If you feel impatient about something, distract yourself to wait it out.

Self-Control

Self-control is the ability to suppress or control urges, emotions, and behaviors in order to achieve your goals. It’s what separates us from the animals and our ancestors. It allows us to plan and evaluate the action we take instead of just responding on impulse. Some people will use the term willpower to refer to self-control. This allows you to direct your attention and action.

You may recall the famous Stanford study that tempted children with marshmallows. They were offered one and left alone with it. If they could resist their urge to eat it, then they would be given two to eat later. The children who resisted achieved greater results in academic endeavors. What does this study really show us, though?

What it seems to be hinting at is that self-control is a skill you’re born with. That you either have it or you don’t. That seems like grim reading for anyone who struggles with self-control. Yet, the study hasn’t held up well over the years.

More recent studies indicate that there is no link between self-control and success or behavior later (*). This is good news. It means you can improve self-control.

Your level of willpower fluctuates over your lifetime, which means that you have the power to increase it!

If you are tempted by alcohol, junk food, social media or something else, then you will likely want to boost your willpower. How can you do that? Meditation and mindfulness are two key exercises that can nurture your spirit, while also bolstering your self-control.

If you know that a certain route tempts you to drive-thru, you can take a different route. This is a way to manage triggers whilst you’re building your self-control.

Kindness

Kindness is gentleness, generosity, concern, affection, and warmth all bundled up in one package. Some people see weakness in kindness. The same people who view gentleness as weakness. There is strength and courage in kindness, it truly is a skill. Some people like to paint survival of the fittest as selfishness.

You will only survive if you look after number one. However, that isn’t how Charles Darwin viewed it. From his perspective, it was the human ability to sympathize and care for others that would allow us to survive (*).

After all, humans are a social species. We instinctually care for others and extend sympathy. This makes perfect sense, considering what we know about how helping others can improve our mental health.

Students seeking higher education will now notice that many colleges are putting an emphasis on kindness in their application process.

There is more than one way to practice being kind. One of which is to take action when you recognize that someone is in need. If you see someone who needs a helping hand, offer help. We thrive on a sense of community and when you extend a helping hand, you’re building yours.

It could be holding the door open for someone, just smiling as you pass
people in the store or street or offering a hand when someone has a heavy load to lift. Offer genuine compliments, thank someone sincerely, tell people you love them, help your neighbors, celebrate those you love, avoid gossiping, the list is endless.

Are you willing to wholeheartedly celebrate the success of others? That’s kindness in action. In fact, this is an effective measure of your kindness. How you react to the success of others is revealing. If you feel genuinely happy for them, then your kindness is on the level. If not, you still have a bit of work to do. That’s okay, too.

Remember, kindness is something you should extend to yourself as well. You should treat yourself with the same kindness that you are extending to others.

Goodness

Goodness is essentially being upright in your life and pure of heart. Your goodness isn’t just for the sake of it, it’s to benefit others. Someone who is truly good will act selflessly on others’ behalf. There are all different ways to show your goodness, but it’s not something that can be manufactured. It’s all generated from within when your spirit health is high.