To incorporate positive self-talk into your life, it is important to first recognize how often and what type of negative thinking or self-talk you engage in. Once you have this understanding, you can start working on retraining your thoughts.

Negative self-talk typically falls into one of four categories: personalizing, polarizing, magnifying, and catastrophizing. You may identify with one or multiple categories. By categorizing your thoughts in this way, you can begin to replace them with more positive thoughts.

However, this process takes time and practice. It is essential to pay close attention to your self-talk and identify areas that require improvement. Changing your self-talk for the better won’t happen overnight, but with dedication and effort, you can make significant progress.

Personalizing

• Blaming yourself for something that is not entirely your fault, such as a project at work that didn’t go as planned.
• Believing that you are the reason someone is unhappy or angry, even if there are other factors at play.
• Thinking that your mistakes are always your fault, even when others are involved.
• Feeling guilty for taking time for yourself or setting boundaries, because you think it will upset others.
• Assuming that people are judging you negatively, even if there is no evidence to support this belief.

Polarizing

• “I either have to be perfect or I’m a failure.”
• “If I’m not the best, then there’s no point in even trying.”
• “Everything in my life is either amazing or terrible.”
• “I can only be happy if everything in my life is going perfectly.”
• “If I make one mistake, I’m a complete failure.”

Magnifying

• “I always mess things up”
• “Nothing ever goes right for me”
• “I can’t do anything right”
• “Everyone else is doing so much better than me”
• “This is a disaster”

Catastrophizing

• “I failed that exam, my academic career is over.”
• “I made a mistake in my presentation, now my colleagues will never trust me again.”
• “I had an argument with my partner, our relationship is doomed.”
• “I didn’t get the job I applied for, I’ll never be able to find work again.”
• “I got a negative comment on my social media post, everyone hates me.”