The Benefits of Being Confident in Your Speech
You may think that speaking with confidence is only something you need to worry about if you make speeches a lot. But, did you know that your voice and how you speak says a lot about your self-confidence in everyday life? Becoming confident in your speech can help improve your relationships, allow you to reach your goals, and give you the self-esteem boost you need to embrace your dreams in life.
How you speak is important. It tells others whether you believe you are worthy of respect, which can change how they treat you. Learning to speak with authority and confidence does not always have to mean you are in charge or that you know everything, but it does tell the world that you are expecting to be treated fairly.
Keep reading to learn more about the benefits of speaking with confidence, how your speech can make you feel more powerful (or give away your power to others), and ways you can improve your speech to become a more confident speaker. We will even share ideas on how to improve your communication by being a better listener, as well.
While it may seem like you are either born with confidence or not, confidence is a skill you can learn and acquire over time. Learning to speak with confidence not only tells others you believe in yourself, but over time, it starts to make you actually have those beliefs yourself. In short, speaking with confidence and make you surer of yourself.
What confidence really means is not that you expect that everything is going to be perfect. Real confidence is knowing that you can handle any outcome that comes your way. And when it comes to speaking, that means being able to address others with ease, to listen to the viewpoints and perspectives of others, and to project your ideas with authority and care.
Speaking confidently is not just about the words you use or the tone of your voice. It is also about how you stand, the way you move your body, your ability to connect with others in the room, and even your breath.
When you speak with confidence, the audience will feel at ease and believe what you are saying. When you project anxiousness or fear, you will have anxious and fearful listeners. The more awkward you feel and the more this comes across, the more awkward your listeners will feel for you, which means they are not really hearing what you have to say. Communication breaks down when your listeners do not believe in you or what you are saying.
The real benefit of speaking with confidence, though, is that it is one important way that you embrace and build upon your personal power. Your words, your tone, and your boundaries while communication with others are indicators of whether you are claiming and honoring your personal power.
How You Relinquish Power with Your Words
Your personal power is your confidence, competence, and strength, which you acquire throughout your life. It is your state of mind about whether you have control over your life. There may be ways that you are signaling to others, through your speech, that you give up your personal power. Words have power, and they can either elevate or diminish you.
When you use words that diminish who you are or what you are capable of doing, you are giving up your personal power. You are allowing others to see you as less-than or inferior, and by giving this away, you lower your respect for yourself. Your words are the verbal embodiment of your personal power. Learning to choose your words carefully can help you feel more powerful and allow others to see that strength in you, as well.
Using words like “I’m just…” is an example of how you give away your power through speech. When you start a sentence with “I’m just…” you are telling the listener to not expect too much from you. You are lessening your authority or right to a viewpoint with those two little words. The word “just” makes it seem like you need to justify why you are speaking. You do not need it. It is not helpful. It gives away your power.
Another speech pattern that shows you are relinquishing your personal power is apologizing. Women especially apologize for things that they do not need to be sorry for, and many times, people apologize just for talking. When you apologize for speaking, you are telling the other person that what you have to say is not important. You are giving away your authority. Stop apologizing for having views, ideas, or opinions, and others will start taking you seriously.
Many people with low confidence have difficulty accepting compliments or praise from others. You diminish your capability and personal power when you refuse to accept the kind words of others. When you have done an excellent job, it is okay for someone to tell you so and to allow those words in your heart. Instead of pushing those compliments away, say “thank you.” You deserve appreciation.
18 Tips for Speaking with Confidence
If you want to improve your confidence while speaking, whether to a few people or at a public event, there are many things you can do to improve your skills. Learning to speak confidently is just like learning any other skill. You need to know the right approaches and tricks, you need to practice often, and you need to learn from your mistakes.
1| Take it Slow
Most people make the mistake, when speaking in uncomfortable situations, of talking too fast. This is especially true when you are already nervous about the situation. Speaking quickly tells everyone listening that you are nervous and lack self-control. Think about how slowly you talk when you are in conversation with your friends. When addressing a larger or unfamiliar group, adopting this same pace will help them feel more relaxed and like you are engaging with them, not hurling words at them.
When you are practicing and speaking in everyday life, slow down. Adopt a relaxed pace to your voice. The more you pay attention to your speed, the more you will become aware of when it is racing too quickly, and you can adjust. Speaking slowly also allows you more time to think about what you want to say, and it shows others deliberate confidence.
2| Pause Before Speaking
A mistake that is often made in a conversation between two or more people is rushing to speak as soon as the other person finishes their thought. This speech pattern clearly says that you are just waiting for your turn to speak and not considering what the other person has said. When you jump in right away, you appear overly eager and may leave the other person wondering if they were heard.
When talking with someone else, pause for a second or two (or three) after the other is done talking before you say what you are thinking. When you take your time, you come across are more relaxed and confident, which gives the words you are saying more authority, as well. As with slowing down, a conversation is not a race to get through as quickly as possible. Take your time, and you will find others will follow suit.
3| Eliminate Verbal Pauses
We all do it. We have those words that creep into our speech when we are looking to fill the void. Words like “um” and “like” are sprinkled throughout your speech, and you may not even know how often you are saying them. When you use these words to fill space in your speech, though, you sound uncertain and lacking confidence.
Practice by recording yourself in conversation with someone or the next time you have to make a presentation at work. Listen to the recording and count how many times you say these filler words.
Now that you are aware of your problem, you can focus on dropping these words from your speech. When you start to hear one creeping in, slow down and pause. It is better to say nothing than say one of these meaningless words. When you pause more, it allows people to catch up to you and anticipate your next words, too.
4| Practice Speaking with Authority
When you are speaking, your voice should not pitch up at the end of a sentence unless you are asking a question. One way you lose authority and sound unsurely is to speak as if you are unsure about everything you are saying. Raising your pitch is a sign that you are unclear or uncertain, which can make you sound less confident.
Practice doing the opposite of this inflection. At the end of every sentence, focus on pitching your voice slightly downward. How does this sound? What difference does it make to what you are saying? Even when you ask a question, this downward inflection adds confidence to your speech. Try it and see what a difference it makes.
5| Work on Your Pauses
Deliberate pauses can add authority and confidence to what you are saying. Strategically placed breaks add emphasis to your points or words. They also vary your speech patterns, which makes it more interesting for the listener. In shorter sentences, try adding a pause halfway through. In longer sentences, break it up into thirds.
Pauses are useful for getting the listeners’ attention as well as making your point even more evident. And using pauses purposefully definitely communicates that you are confident in what you are saying.
6| Work with Your Breath
Your breath comes in a slow, steady pace. When you want to speak with confidence, your speech should have that same slow, steady pace. By working with your breath, instead of trying to get all your words out in one and quickly inhale to keep going, you will relax your pace and sound like the confident person you are.
Practice taking breaths that fill your lungs deep down, not just at the top. Your lower ribs should expand when you breathe deeply like this. This type of breath takes longer to inhale and exhale. This is the breathing and the speaking rhythm you want. Practice speaking with your breath to see how it affects your pace and helps you project more confidence to others.
7| Loud Does Not Equal Confidence
Talking loudly is often mistake for showing confidence when, in reality, it just shows you do not respect your listeners. While it is essential to be heard, especially in a large group, speaking loudly is not as important as the rhythm of your speech and the pitch of your voice.
Talking loudly often results in a pitch that resembles screaming, which is never pleasant to listen to for long. Instead, you want to adopt a cadence that is smooth and rhythmic and a pitch that is low and steady. This will make you sound more confident.
Again, recording yourself is a wonderful way to see how well you are doing with this. Listen to yourself talking. Does your pitch go up and down dramatically? Does your rhythm feel smooth or choppy? Practicing your speech is a way to work on not only what you want to say but how you want to say it.
8| Drink Water
If you are going to be speaking to a large group, or if you have a long day or night of smaller conversations ahead of you, it is essential to stay hydrated. When you are not sufficiently hydrated, your vocal cords become easily irritated, which can rob you of your confidence.
Drink plenty of water throughout the day and always have some water close by when you are speaking to enhance your voice and keep you feeling confident.
9| Relax Your Body
When you are tense, the muscles in your jaw, neck, throat, and shoulders are all affected. These same muscles influence your tone of voice. Relaxing these muscles is vital if you want to sound confident.
Start with a deep breath. As you exhale, open your mouth slightly, relax your jaw, and push the air out in something like a sigh or a yawn. Swing your arms, stretch your neck, and loosen your jaw to relax all these muscles, too. When you are speaking, as you feel these muscles start to tense back up, focus on releasing that stress and staying relaxed.
10| Smile
When you are speaking to others, and you see a sea of frowning or (more likely) blank faces, smile. You will quickly notice that many people will start smiling back at you. Plus, when you smile, you are showing that you are confident in what you are saying and will appear more composed and friendly.
When your smile, it also enhances the quality of your voice and helps you keep a more even pitch and rhythm. Practice speaking into a mirror to feel how smiling influences your confidence.
11| Get Rid of Qualifying Phrases
Modern speech is filled with phrases and words that add nothing to the conversation but have become ubiquitous. Many of these are also phrases that show you are not confident about what you are about to say.
Examples of these include, “I’m sorry,” “Well,” “I mean,” and “This is just my opinion.” We say these things to apologize for what we are about to say, which begs the question, why should anyone continue listening. These tics are common when people are nervous or hesitant about how others will respond to their ideas.
But, when you say what you mean without these qualifiers, it lends authority and confidence to your meaning. You do not need to say it is your opinion. Everyone in the conversation is saying their opinion. Offer your viewpoint with authority and get rid of these unnecessary, filler phrases that rob you of your confidence.
12| Show Gratitude
When you are speaking to a group or talking one-on-one with others, showing appreciation for others participation, ideas, and contributions will convey your confidence from the beginning. Acknowledging those who came to hear you is an effective way to start a talk.
Thanking others for sharing their insights with you shows you are open to new ideas. Showing gratitude to those who helped you prepare or move forward conveys that you are confident in your progress. Don’t be afraid to let others share in your newfound confidence.
13| Use Silence
Throughout your speech, people need time to process what you said and reflect. Using silence is a way to allow for this as well as show you are confident in what you are saying. Learning to live with silence, and not fill it with unnecessary jabbering or verbal pauses, is the sign of a truly confident speaker. Practice in everyday conversation at using silence to help you make a point or to allow your listener to think.
14| Stand Up Straight
Just as smiling affects your voice and speech, so does your posture. And how you hold and carry yourself tells others a lot about how confident you are feeling. Even when you do not feel all that confident, standing tall and keeping your head high can make you feel surer about what you are doing.
Good posture is essential to speaking with confidence. When you stand straight, you can breathe more deeply, which allows you to project as well as watch your pace.
Practice standing tall with your feet firmly planted hip distance apart. Distribute your weight equally across your hips.
Avoid swaying, pacing, or tapping, as these detract from what you are saying and show a lack of confidence.
Lift your chest, which exposes your chest and torso. Roll your shoulders back and relax them. With your head held high, look in the mirror. This pose is reminiscent of the Superman stance, and for good reason. It embodies power and confidence, which is what you want to project to your listeners, too.
15| Work on Eye Contact
When talking with a larger group, working on making lasting eye contact with one person at a time while you speak. Fix your sight on one person in the room for at least six seconds. After holding your gaze in this spot for what probably feels like a little too long, move one to someone in a completely different area of the room. This type of lingering eye contact makes your listeners feel like you are talking just to them and conveys confidence, too.
You should avoid scanning the room or gazing over the tops of people’s heads. Don’t keep looking back at the same people over and over, because this can make them uncomfortable. While you may have heard that looking at the back of the room can help you feel less nervous, this move will cause your audience to disengage from you very quickly.
Don’t speak at others, speak to them. Most people, when you make eye contact with them, will smile or offer other positive reinforcements, which can make you feel more confident, too.
16| Move Your Hands
Your body language is just as important as the words you choose to say. Using a variety of gestures conveys energy, confidence, and warmth to your audience. Your gestures should be purposeful and related to your talk rather than distracted fidgeting or nervous habits.
Use your hands in ways that add to your message. Practice in front of a mirror if you are unsure of what would be appropriate.
17| Focus on the Situation
When speaking, it can become easy to get lost in the present moment. When you are so focused on what you plan to say next, you forget about relaxing, breathing, or slowing down. Focusing on the present and what you are saying right now is the only way to stay grounded and sound more confident in your speech.
Listen to your voice, and focus on each word like you really mean it to keep all those other bad habits from creeping back in.
18| Practice, Practice, Practice
If you want to improve your speech and sound more confident, you will only achieve this by practicing. The more you practice, the less nervous you will feel about using your new skills.
Practice allows you to work out what you want to say ahead of time, which leaves you with less to consider at the moment, as well. If you have to make a speech to a large group, practice with a microphone or podium, whichever you will have at the event so that you can feel comfortable with your hand placements and posture.
Record yourself to listen for your pitch, pacing, and pauses, too. Nothing will help you improve more than practice will, so use every opportunity you have to work on feeling more confident in your speaking.
How to Be A Better Communicator
It is important to remember that speaking is only part of the communication loop. If you want to show your confidence in all aspects of how you communicate with others, there are some other things you can do to improve how well you are listening and responding to those with whom you are speaking. There are five ways to improve your overall communication and become more confident in your interactions with others.
#1. Always take time to think about what others have said before responding. Communication is a give and take, not just doling out your ideas. You must be willing to consider new information, which means you will likely need to pause and reflect before speaking.
#2. Do not walk away from confrontation or disagreement. Learning to talk through differences of opinion or find compromises to problems is an important part of communicating. And when you are able to listen and respond thoughtfully to others, you show you respect their opinion as well as are confident in your ability to make it work. Do not back down when others challenge you but stay positive and respect in your tone to keep the conversation moving forward.
#3. Pay attention to the words as well as the nonverbal communication cues of the other person. If they are saying they agree, but their facial expressions or tone say different, ask more questions or dig deeper. Do not just accept that answer and move on.
#4. Make sure your conversation is two-way. Ask questions and elicit responses, especially from those who have not taken part. Make sure everyone has the opportunity to voice their concerns or ideas.
#5. Making eye contact with the person you are addressing is crucial to show your confidence in what you are saying. Eye contact shows the other person you are listening and engaged, that you value what they are saying, and that you want to be there, talking with them.
Final Thoughts
Learning to speak with confidence can help you improve your relationships with others, move ahead in your career, carry out important goals in your life, and share your knowledge and views with others. It also can help you reclaim personal power that you have lost by not being confident in yourself and honoring your own needs and priorities in life.
Like all skills, learning to speak with confidence is something you can master over time and with practice. There are many components to effective communication, including your voice’s pitch, tone, and rhythm, as well as nonverbal cues like your facial expressions and posture. Even learning to use silence and pauses can help you make your point more confidently to your listeners.
If you want to be more confident in what you are saying, you must believe the words you are using and communicate a message that is important to you. Above all else, you must be true to your values and beliefs if you want to interact confidently with others.
Practice these skills, and you will have all your listeners believing in your confidence in no time.
Stay confident and take care!
