Trying to work on your self validation skills? Try this thirty day challenge to add some strategies to your self validation practice toolbox.
30 Day Challenge
Day 1: Practice differentiating other people’s opinions from your own.
When a person relies too heavily on other people’s opinions, they struggle to form their own. It’s difficult to self validate when you feel like you can only respond in a way that matches what the rest of the group or community thinks.
Today, spend some time differentiating your real thoughts and feelings apart from other people’s thoughts and feelings. You might be surprised to see that you feel differently from the people surrounding you.
Day 2: Engage with each emotion you experience during the day.
Self validation requires you to acknowledge and accept all your emotions – even the yucky ones. Today, make an effort to engage with all the different emotions you experience, whether they are good or bad.
Ask yourself what is causing them, focus on how you’re feeling, and then remind yourself that all emotions are normal experiences and you are normal for having them.
Day 3: Spend a day disconnected from others via the internet, texts, phone calls, email, and social media.
A great way to self validate requires you to step away from other people for a while. Instead of chattering away via text messages or endlessly scrolling social media posts, spend today “unplugged.” It’s much easier to self validate when you aren’t comparing your life side-by-side to some retouched pictures posted to Facebook or Instagram. Instead, spend the day connecting with yourself.
Day 4: Give yourself a genuine compliment.
Pick something you like and admire about yourself today and give yourself a genuine, spoken-out-loud compliment about it. Whether it’s your good hair day, your cool outfit, your good attitude, your accomplishments at work, or your completed to-do list, compliment yourself on a job well done! Speaking this way to yourself is incredibly self validating.
Day 5: Make a brainstormed list of your past accomplishments, successes, and achievements.
Jot down a list of all your past accomplishments, successes, and achievements. You can list as many as you want, and nothing is too big or too small to be added to your list.
Revisit the list any time you need a reminder of the good work you’ve done – it is incredibly self validating to keep this reminder close by (and you can always add to it as you do more good things).
Day 6: Make a list of your strengths and weaknesses.
Self validation requires you to take a good look at all your qualities – even the ones that you don’t like as much. Consider your strengths and your weaknesses, and make a list of each.
It is important to accept both as major parts of who you are as you practice self validation. Feeling validated in yourself means you are comfortable and accepted for everything you are – not just the more positive parts.
Day 7: Identify one part or aspect of yourself you would like to improve.
Another great way to self validate is to choose an area of improvement you can actively work toward making better. Working on a self improvement project is an excellent way to feel good about yourself. As you see progress being made, you’ll feel good about your ability to make good choices and work toward a big goal.
Day 8: Make a point to really connect with your thoughts and feelings today.
Daily living can feel like a blur. You may even find yourself going through an entire day on autopilot, mindlessly moving from task to task until the day is finished. If this sounds familiar, spend today really connecting with all of your thoughts and feelings.
Take time to notice what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and how you are feeling. This self awareness helps you self validate – when you really feel and know what’s happening to you, it’s easier to accept it all as a part of your human experience.
Day 9: Identify and respond to each one of your needs accordingly.
Unfortunately, everyone is probably guilty of ignoring one of their needs in favor of getting something finished. For example, you may tell yourself you can skip your lunch break (even though you’re hungry) to finish a project for your boss.
Today, challenge yourself to self validate all your needs by identifying and responding to them. When you’re thirsty, get a drink. If you’re hungry, stop for a snack. If you’re tired, take a few minutes to rest. Validate your experiences and feelings by responding to all your needs.
Day 10: Track the progress you’ve been making toward a specific goal or project.
It can be difficult to recognize the hard work you’re doing and progress you’re making on a project, especially if you’ve been working on it for quite some time.
Today, make a rough timeline of the work you’ve put toward some task or project – it’s incredibly self validating to see how you’ve actually been making some progress written out in front of you.
Day 11: Practice swapping negative self talk with something more positive.
Negative self talk pushes against self validation. If you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative about yourself today, swap it out for something kinder and more positive.
Even if you don’t totally believe your kind words, you will self validate by “flipping the script” on what your mind thinks you should be saying. Over time, these more positive words will become your reality.
Day 12: Develop a personal mantra to help you feel some self validation when you need it most.
Mantras are great, quick ways to self validate when you need it most. For example, you can use one of the following short mantras anytime you need a quick boost of self validation during the day:
- I can handle this task.
- I am smart enough to do this.
- I can make good choices.
- I am a force of positivity.
- I can do great things.
- I have control over my actions.
Day 13: Do something to validate yourself today in a way you never have before.
People seek validation from others throughout their lives, but it doesn’t mean they always receive it. For example, you may have never received the kind of validation you’d crave from a teacher or a parent. If this is the case, give yourself some of that validation today.
For example, if you craved love from a parent, validate yourself with some self love today. Giving yourself validation in ways you never received it before can be a life changing experience.
Day 14: Spend some time engaged in a hobby or activity you really enjoy.
Spending time doing what you love most is incredibly self validating. Not only will it put you in a great mood, but it’ll make you feel good about who you are, what you like, and what you’re doing. Spend time today doing whatever it is you really enjoy – your self validation will soar because of it.
Day 15: Make yourself your new best friend.
Giving yourself the best friend treatment is one of the best ways to self validate. Think about how you treat your best friend – you speak to them kindly, support them when they need it, and listen to their needs. Do the same for yourself.
Treat yourself the same way you would treat your best friend because it is one of the kindest and most self validating things you can do for yourself.
Day 16: Spread some kindness and positivity out into the world.
An excellent way to self validate your own happiness and positive attitude is to share it with others. Doing kind things for other people, such as sharing encouragement, giving compliments, and being helpful is a fantastic way to solidify your own positive image of yourself.
Day 17: Spend some time engaged in self care.
Self care is a necessary part of looking after your personal needs. Spend time engaged in your favorite self care activities. Much like the previous day’s challenge, it’s an excellent and enjoyable way to solidify the fact that you are important and that taking care of yourself is a priority. Validate yourself through your favorite self care activities.
Day 18: Take some breaks to stop and ask yourself what you need most.
Resist the temptation to speed through the day without checking in with yourself. Instead, practice taking breaks when you’re working or trying to accomplish tasks and ask yourself what you need most in that moment.
Taking time to pause and identify your needs is excellent self validation – you are listening to yourself, acknowledging your needs, and then giving yourself a chance to meet those needs.
Day 19: Jot down a list of 10 things you admire about yourself.
If you struggle to focus on your positives, today’s exercise will be incredibly self validating for you. Sit down and create a list of ten things you genuinely like about yourself. They can be any aspect of who you are, your personality, or your attitude.
Once you have your list of ten things completed, keep it somewhere you can revisit it often. As you think of new things to add to the list, do it. The act of writing the list, revisiting the list, and adding to the list are all great ways to self validate your worth.
Day 20: When you feel an emotion today, speak it out loud.
Sometimes emotions feel too complex and overwhelming. Today, practice self validating all your emotions by speaking them out loud. For example, if you get frustrated at work, step away for a minute and physically say out loud, “I feel really frustrated right now!” Speaking your emotions out loud is a great way to recognize, acknowledge, and then begin processing them.
Day 21: When you experience a negative thought, practice holding that negative thought against reality.
Often, negative thoughts aren’t rooted in reality – instead, they tend to be rooted in anxiety or fear. Many negative thoughts are overexaggerated and convoluted.
Today, if you experience a negative thought, call it out by comparing it against reality. It’s an excellent way to self validate that your thoughts are rooted in fear or anxiety while also calming yourself down with a counter thought that is likely far less negative.
Day 22: Remind yourself that your experiences, thoughts, and feelings are just as important as everyone else’s.
It is easy (and tempting!) to dismiss your experiences, thoughts, and feelings. For example, you may think you’re “overreacting” or “overthinking” about a certain situation and then dismiss your thoughts and feelings.
Instead, practice self validating by reminding yourself that your experiences, thoughts, and feelings are just as important as everyone else’s. You are an individual with a unique perspective, and acknowledging what you’re experiencing is important.
Day 23: Improve your own personal narrative.
When you think about yourself and everything that makes you who you are, how do you tell this personal narrative? Are the words positive and uplifting, or negative? If your personal narrative is more negative, it’s time to improve it.
You may want to revisit your list from the Day 19 Challenge to assist with this exercise – reflect on what you admire about yourself and focus the story of who you are around those details for more positive self validation.
Day 24: Do something nice for yourself today.
Spreading some purposeful kindness to yourself is fantastic self validation. Remind yourself that you are worthy of good things in your own life by providing them for yourself.
Do something good for yourself today, such as taking a break, treating yourself to a favorite meal, or spending some extra time on a favorite hobby. Doing things to make yourself feel good is a great way to self validate that feeling good is a priority for you.
Day 25: Set a boundary where it is needed most in your life.
Is there someone or something in your life that is making you uncomfortable? Whether the discomfort is intentional or unintentional, you have the power to limit how it affects you.
Exercise your self validation by setting a boundary in place with that particular someone or something. Setting and enforcing your boundaries self validates your feelings toward whatever is bothering you while prioritizing your comfort.
Day 26: Spend some time journaling to reflect on your day.
Journaling is an excellent way to explore your thoughts and feelings. Spend some time writing about your day as a reflection method. As your thoughts pour onto the page, you can self validate some of your feelings and experiences from the day as you think about them further.
Day 27: Take some alone time to privately process something you recently experienced.
Not everything needs to be processed in front of an audience. If you recently experienced something that made you feel a big emotion – whether it was a good one or a bad one – take some time today to privately process what happened. Spending some alone time reflecting on what happened so you can process it on your own terms can help you self validate by focusing solely on your thoughts and reactions.
Day 28: Say something to yourself today that is encouraging.
Become your own biggest cheerleader today. Hearing words of encouragement coming from yourself is excellent self validation. Even if it feels a little cheesy to cheer yourself on, the words and effort send a specific message to yourself that is very self validating: you can do good work!
Day 29: Give yourself some personal congratulations for accomplishing something today, no matter how big or small it may be.
Take some time to congratulate yourself for accomplishing something today, whether it is big or small. Did you buy all the groceries for the week? Are all your bills for the month paid? Did you finish the laundry? Were you able to get out of bed on time? No matter what you did, tell yourself “good job.” It’s a great way to self validate your ability to do good work in all aspects of your life.
Day 30: Give yourself full permission to let go of something you’ve been holding on to for too long.
People tend to hang on to past mistakes, failures, and other bad experiences for long periods of time. If you are still holding on to something from your past that is weighing you down, give yourself permission to let it go.
This may not happen all in one day, but you can start the process today. Offer yourself forgiveness, extract the lesson you learned from the experience, and give yourself permission to let it go so you can move forward again.
