This is something we’ve all struggled with, especially in the society in which we live in. There’s something for everyone and someone for everything but we tend to get caught up in trying to be someone else.
Knowing oneself is probably one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves when we really understand who it is we really are. Can you become someone else and be happy? Sure… many people have to get away from who they were (Was not the true them) to get to who they are, deep down inside.
Easier said than done sure, since we are molded at a young age but at some point in life we have to start working on “developing a clear sense of self.” The most important thing is to take action and to start working on yourself and learning everything about “you,” so that finding a sense of self can be achievable.
Hopefully you can learn how to find your true identity if you’ve felt out of touch with yourself lately…
Why Do We Need to Develop a Clear Sense of Self?
We get lost in life due to the circumstances and experiences we face in life. We might deviate so much that we don’t even know who we are anymore. How do we define ourselves at this point in time?
Well, that is a good question which everyone should have to answer at some point.
Are you a father? Are you a mother? Are you a significant contributor to society or do you see yourself as mediocre? Your sense of self can be defined by these criteria if you allow it to.
Where do you fit in when you think about your existence in the world?
The question of why we need to develop a sense of life will depend entirely on the individual. However, if we are to live meaningful lives, we need to answer that question truthfully. We all see ourselves as something but that’s not necessarily good enough.
Learning about our true selves requires a lot of digging within, to pull out the honesty. We all have a purpose in this life and to not ever discover it would be a shame. It should be our duty and responsibility to find our true identity.
We should all desire to contribute something great to our communities and our relationships. Being a burden to other people should not be on anyone’s list.
Where To Start In Developing A Clear Sense of Self
This part is not easy but it’s very necessary. If we are to accomplish something in life, then we must be committed to getting out of our comfort zones. Procrastination is not an option because time is ticking, so where do we start?
Start with yourself by making lifestyle changes:
- Spend more time with yourself in multiple settings.
- Get a journal and start expressing yourself by writing down your thoughts and desires.
- Tackle what you believe you need to work on.
- Eliminate the things you believe are restricting you.
You can start by making these lifestyle changes and before you know it, you’ll get to know more about yourself. You see, when you get rid of the superficial stuff and start treating yourself the way you should be, life starts to make more sense.
You’ll start to realize your place in the world and habits and good habits that you should be doing will become more obvious to you.
[1] Practice Good Habits
Developing a sense of self require creating good habits just like anything else in life which requires permanent change. This will come from doing things daily which allows you to feel a sense of meaning.
We tend to find who we really want to become when we extend ourselves out into society and focus on longevity. A lot of us have lifestyles which are not conducive to longevity, and this become s a big problem.
In fact, this is when bad habits develop. We get stuck in habits which make us miserable (We know it too) and before we know it, we become a person who we are not even happy with. So how can you correct this issue?
By doing something completely different… that’s right, habits develop when we do something over and over again. Well if we do something different, and which is conducive to longevity, it will become a habit for us.
The important thing however, is to keep in mind the fact that we need to make sure we are practicing the right habits and making the right changes. This part is crucial… you know why? Because we can do something wrong while thinking we’re doing it right.
If you want to be sure you’re creating good habits, you can do a few things…
- Seek advice from someone who has made good decisions.
- Write your changes down and determine whether you’ve made smart decisions.
- Make slight changes if failure becomes to frequent.
Don’t be afraid to make changes when things don’t work. It doesn’t mean you’re a quitter but it’s smart to not do the same thing over and over again if you’re not progressing. There’s a different between repetition and doing something completely wrong.
[2] Who Are You Surrounding Yourself With?
This is a big factor in determining whether you can actually find your true sense of self. The people we socialize with and choose to be around can have a big influence on us. So, the best thing we can do is choose our company wisely, so we can find who we really are through great influence.
Some people hang around others who will only bring them down and self-identity soon becomes lost. So, make the decision to be in the company of people who have already discovered their sense of self.
So how do you find people who have developed a sense of self?
- Join groups where people are working toward a common goal.
- Use the internet to your advantage.
Finding people who are working on developing a sense of self is very beneficial for you because influence can really change your entire life. Also, you might become an inspiration to someone else as a result of you developing your sense of self.
[3] Practice Mindfulness
There’s nothing better than improving yourself through becoming aware of your body and mind. Practicing mindfulness is a great way to learn how to settle calm your mind amid a chaotic lifestyle most of us live.
Allowing a busy lifestyle to take too much time in our lives can cause feelings of hopelessness and uncertainty. However, maintaining a healthy mind and body will allow us to discover and maintain our true sense of self.
What are the best ways to practice mindfulness?
- Meditate daily
- Spend time doing what makes you happy.
- Eat a healthy, natural diet.
- Drink plenty of water.
- Get enough sleep.
These habits are important for finding your true sense of self because the distractions of the world along with bad lifestyle habits can cause us to live unhealthy lifestyles. It’s so important to treat your body well and in return, it will treat you well by keeping you mentally and physically healthy.
[4] Say “No” More Often
If we are to ever find our sense of self, we need to learn how to stop pleasing others as often as we desire to. It’s ok to say no to people. Some people are not concerned with your wellbeing and you must be able notice when this occurs.
Now, this doesn’t mean you should say no to everyone of course (Not what we’re saying) because helping people is a part of developing a sense of self. Simply, know your worth and you choose tobe the one to make decisions, while living life on your terms.
[5] Are You Happy With Where You Are In Life Right Now?
Be honest with yourself when you answer this question. You cannot fool yourself, so seriously make the decision to answer truthfully.
Could you be doing better? Have you given yourself a fair chance?
If you’re happy… that’s great but we can never stop developing as human beings. There’s always something we can improve upon and we could always have more meaning. Life is a journey and we never stop learning, so is it possible to have a clearer sense of self even when we’re happy?
Yes, it sure is. There’s a lot of untapped potential in each one of us and there’s no doubt about it.
Never stay somewhere physically or emotionally just because it’s comfortable. If you want to realize your true identity, make the move away from the place which is causing complacency. Happiness is such a valuable thing and a lot of times we choose to ignore it.
Life doesn’t have to be this way (It shouldn’t) yet so many people worldwide settle for unhappiness. There’s not one person who could say they found a clearer sense of self by letting life kick them down. It requires a fight on your part and that is where discovery happens.
[6] Don’t Feel Obligated to Your Current Circumstances
You never have to do anything that you don’t want to do. The great thing about life is we can create our reality. Letting our habits and routines get the better of us will ultimately drown us and we will look back on life and regret not changing things.
We are never obligated to anything which makes us feel out of touch with who we really are.
The sooner you understand this, the better. We have freedom to makes choices and live life to the fullest. Only when we make beneficial decisions, can we experience our true “sense of self.”
Things we usually feel obligated towards:
- Staying at a job we don’t want to be in.
- Relationships which cause us harm.
- Comfort zones
- Certain responsibilities
It’s ok to let go and say goodbye. In fact, you’d be doing a disservice to yourself by holding onto to things which you need to give up. Life isn’t meant for us to feel restricted because of things like relationships, responsibilities, jobs etc.
The only one who can change your circumstances is you. So, don’t be afraid to take charge of your life and make it happen.
[7] Trust Yourself
If you can believe in yourself, then you have one of the most powerful weapons we can have as human beings. Believe in your abilities to take charge of your life. Only then, will you have the utmost clear sense of self.
A lot of people have the problem of quitting before they even start something. People question whether they are adequate enough because of past failures and/or a lack of belief in one’s own abilities.
Well this has a lot to do with the fear we all face at some point in life. You know what fear is? It’s just “False Evidence Appearing Real.” You see, if you haven’t tried something, then you’re afraid of something which may not even exist.
You must learn to trust that you can do better and although you don’t have to be amazing at first, improvement and progress is the result of pushing fear aside. We all have it in us to do incredible things. Our ability to overcome fear is achieved by jumping in and doing something regardless of how we feel. This is the definition of growth, in fact.
[8] Don’t Wait For Life to Make You Happy
We have the decision every day to be happy or unhappy. Well, the good thing is we can choose how we feel at any time. If you want to develop a clearer sense of self, then it’s your responsibility to make sure you’re mentally in the right place.
How can we promote more happiness in our lives?
- Get up every day and work toward your goals.
- Step outside of your comfort zone.
- Be productive
- Have healthy relationships.
Yes, life can be a great thing if you make it that way. Your emotional state depends entirely on your thought process and the perspective/s you choose to have about life. If you’re waiting for life to make you happy, then you’ll be waiting a long time. It’s up to you.
[9] Start Something
One of the best ways to find your sense of self is to just do something that interests you. Many times, when we step out, we find out…
Don’t be afraid to try things, there are so many things we can do in life and trying is necessary for success. When we discover different things, which fit our tastes and lifestyles, the sky is the limit. We get momentum when we progress and from there, life begins!
What we do in life determines whether or not we get a sense of accomplishment. Sometimes achieving small things are not enough and we tend to want more out of life. This isn’t necessarily the case with everyone, but it is for those who have passion for life.
So, start something… anything and watch yourself grow mentally as you find your sense of self.
Focus
This one simple word means so much regarding our sense of self worth and identity. A lack of focus will lead us to nowhere and even mediocrity at best. When you can really focus in on life, your whole perspective changes.
Yes, many people coast through life and have no ambitions toward anything. Can you guess what kind of results these people will get out of life? That’s correct… minimal results.
What kind of life is this? Not much at all. To be honest, there are too many people who lack focus these days, especially in an age where technology is everything to us. Sure, technology is great and can change your life but when it becomes a distraction, this is where we lose our ability to focus.
How can we focus a bit better?
- Limit time for entertainment.
- Wake up early and complete your priority tasks first.
- Eliminate the people in your life who hold you back.
Technology (Social media especially) can wait… the time you have to focus on more important things is not guaranteed so what is your priority? Wasting time or progressing through life?
It’s up to you to decide but rest assured, your life is valuable and so is your time. Focusing on your life goals will absolutely be your best bet. Disciplining yourself to focus will not only benefit you for discovering a clearer self of sense but it will help you to become successful and achieve what most people think is impossible.
[10] Challenge Yourself
What are you challenging yourself with in life? Are you not pushing yourself daily?
If you cannot relate to either of the above, then you need to take a step back and look at your life. There’s no way you’ll ever develop a clearer sense of self without some stress. Stress?… it’s bad for you, isn’t it? Yes and no…
We need a healthy amount of stress to grow. Just think about when you train a muscle… well how does it grow? The answer is stress. Without stress, a muscle will not grow. So, apply this same concept to your life if you want to really know who you are.
Your identity is found through challenges in life which brings out your true innate characteristics (None of that superficial, worldly stuff). Don’t be afraid to be uncomfortable in life because that is where the most growth occurs.
How do you challenge yourself?
- Change up your daily routine.
- Write down short-term goals and do whatever is necessary to achieve them.
- Learn something new every day.
It’s important to change your routine if your current one is getting you nowhere. Now this may be the case for most people and the reason a lot of people are stuck is because they don’t understand how necessary making a change really is.
The comfort of security and certainty keeps many of us back, but this is where we eventually become lost. Getting out of a rut is a tough situation for most people because the challenge of doing something differently evokes a real fear within a person’s mind and it can cripple them
[11] Make Learning a Priority
Knowledge is power. The more you learn about yourself and the things you desire in life, your chances of developing a sense of self will increase dramatically. It’s hard to believe anyone could find their identity without some knowledge.
Take your life experiences and learn what you could have done better or maybe you’ll better understand your role in life. To have purpose in life, means you have something to contribute. So, this is why learning is such a valuable tool for your life.
- Pop open a book and read
- Listen and learn from other people’s experiences
- Apply a learning experience to your life
Learning can be done in so many ways but there is a lot of inspiration in learning something which can seriously change your life.
[12] Decide Who You Want to Be
Every human being has the free will to decide how their life turns out. They have a serious decision to make as far as who they will ultimately become.
First you must know your place here on Earth… and if you don’t know yet, start searching.
People will tell you that you can sit and wait for life to work out, but you’ll receive very little in life if you have this mindset. Get up and start working hard toward the person you want to be. No one can tell you who you need to be (Although society does often) and the sooner you understand this the sooner you can work on your “self.”
This is the beginning of developing a clearer sense of self.
It’s ok if you don’t know your purpose right away but as life progresses, so will you (If you choose to do so). Many people come to the end if their lives and never be the person they could have been. They didn’t add value to life, they didn’t accomplish much but they were just mediocre.
We all have greatness in us, but few people will choose to bring it out.
[13] Never Stop Trying to Develop
The one thing we must never do… is give up and stop developing as a human being. Yes, tough times will be existent, but they do not have to define you. The ability to see adversity and overcome it will contribute to developing your sense of self.
We all get discouraged and we all fail… it’s a normal part of life.
However, do not ever let these inconveniences stop you from believing in yourself and understanding that you have a special identity. The identity you carry will be whatever you make it.
You may feel bad about yourself and have a low self-esteem but it’s up to you to deal with it productively and to come out better on the other side. Develop yourself for your purpose in life. That could possibly be the best piece of advice anyone can receive.
You are destined to further understand your sense of self because you carry a necessary value. Most people don’t even realize this and it’s too late. This causes regret and a loss of identity. The unfortunate thing is many people may never find it (Identity) again.
How to keep developing
- Keep learning
- Understand that development of oneself takes time
- Be patient and never let life discourage you.
It’s so important that we understand the concept of time in relation to complete development. Nothing in life is achieved without a period of development which requires time. We all too often put a time limit on our lives and although our time is short here on Earth, nothing great comes overnight.
There’s just no way around this and the reason many people fail is because there is no instant gratification. Life doesn’t work “instantly,” even though we live in such an instant society.
Discovering Your Role In Life
Many people will go through life and never discover their true identity. It’s usually masked by a superficial, external influence.
However, that doesn’t mean you have to follow how everyone else decides to live. You are “you” and whether or not you see it right now, it’s the truth and there’s no running from it. People will run and hide but their true sense of self will always be right there and present.
In a world where so many people try so hard to be someone else, it may seem impossible to completely develop a clear sense of self. Although there is so much going on around us, it is still possible to find your true identity.
You don’t have to be who the world says you should be. You should focus on being someone who can use their strengths and experiences to become a great person who lives with passion.
Much is required of those who choose to take the good and honest road but, in the end… well, you know what happens. These people become the most successful at developing a clear sense of self. This is the end goal and should be sought out by us as a way to offer something to others while promoting a healthy lifestyle.
