Do you often wonder why you’re unhappy with your life? Or why nothing seems to excite and motivate you any longer?
It’s true that there are several psychological illnesses, like depression, that could be affecting your sense of dissatisfaction.
However, there are other factors as well that can contribute to feeling down and in despair. Some of them you may be doing unconsciously, while others are just hard habits to break.
Yet, the silver lining is that you have a great deal of influence over all of them.
Today, we’re sharing the top 10 ways you can get a clearer understanding of why you may be feeling so dejected. We’ll also give you a few tips on how to open up those mental blinds and let the sunshine back in.
Just remember to take it slow. Pick one thing to change at a time and you’ll be able to change your mindset for the better in the process.
Let’s get started.
#1 You Worry Too Much
Satisfaction has a lot to do with feeling grateful for what you have going on in your life right now. But we often play the self-sabotage game and destroy that sense of satisfaction by looking to the future with trepidation and to the past with regret.
Fear and regret are two powerful emotions. They tend to distort your thoughts, making it difficult to think and act rationally. So, we end up making an unfortunate series of poor decisions.
One effective way to stop worrying is to take control of your thoughts. Any time you feel a surge of negative self-talk, override it by reminding yourself of the good people and things in your life.
#2 You Hold On to the Perceived Notion of Control
One common reason we feel dissatisfied is that we convince ourselves that if we control everything around us, nothing bad will happen.
Of course, that’s not true. There are certain things you can change. But there are other things that are just outside the realm of your control.
So, the first step to reviving your sense of satisfaction is to acknowledge the fact that you’re omnipotent.
Then, recognize the aspects that you can change and focus on those.
#3 You’re A Part Of The Herd
Sure, we feel safer for some reason when we go along with what everyone else is doing. But this ‘herd’ mentality can ultimately lead you down a path you don’t want.
This can include basic things like slacking off at work or it may consist of more serious things, like drugs and alcohol.
It doesn’t make things any easier knowing that there’s a multi-billion-dollar industry working tirelessly to try to persuade you to remain a member of the herd.
The good news is that there’s a way to break free. All you need is a bit of courage and clarity of mind to wake up from the manipulation of peer pressure and consumerism propaganda.
After that, you can start making your own decisions and have the determination and fearlessness to do your own thing.
#4 You Hold On To Grudges
Sometimes we feel stuck and dissatisfied because we’re carrying around unresolved pain. The only way out of that dark, lonely hole is to forgive the person who hurt you.
According to experts, when you forgive, you’re letting go of the negative emotions you’ve been holding onto for so long. Through forgiveness, you can find inner peace and start to move forward with your life so you can feel satisfied once again.
This would be an excellent time to mention that forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. In other words, you don’t need to let whoever let you down back into your life.
#5 You Try To Please Others
We often try to change things about ourselves to try to please our friends and family. But being anyone besides yourself will only end up making you miserable.
It’s physically impossible to please everyone all the time. There will always be someone out there that doesn’t like you for whatever reason.
And that’s okay.
Just accept it and move on.
Plus, living your life in the hope you’ll please others puts you at the mercy of others.
Don’t change your opinion because someone disagrees. As long as it aligns with your values, you should stand by what you believe. You can never be dissatisfied in life if you’re doing what makes you happy.
#6 You Compare Yourself To Others
This is a bit different from trying to please others because it stems from a lack of self-esteem. You could be the most confident person in the world. But as soon as you start playing the comparison game, that’s the moment when everything falls apart.
Everyone has something better or different from what you have. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re right for you. So, instead of comparing your life to someone who’s seemingly doing better than you, start appreciating what you have. Fill your life with things that align with your core values and personal beliefs.
Otherwise, seeking validation from others will just feed those negative feelings of dissatisfaction and frustration.
#7 You Make Time For The Wrong Things
We’ve been taught that money is a means to an end. We use it to earn people’s respect and admiration. We also think that the more money we have, the more successful we’ll be.
And even though we keep asking for more and more money, our bank balance seems always a bit shy of making all of our dreams come true.
You can buy as many fancy houses and shiny cars as you want. But they won’t make you feel satisfied and fulfilled. You may have a good time for a bit. Then, when the fun times are over, your sense of dissatisfaction will be back in full force.
It pays to spend time focusing on things that really matter like family, friends, your health, and self-care. Take care of these aspects and your dissatisfaction will slowly dissipate.
#8 You Have No Purpose
If you go through life not knowing what your goals are, then you’ll never be satisfied with anything you do.
There are two types of goals or life purposes: short-term and long-term. Your short-term goals consist of all the things you’re responsible for throughout the day whether at home or at work.
Then you have long-term goals, like where you want to be in five years. And what kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?
Yet before you can find your purpose, you have to ask yourself these five questions:
What are you good at? What makes you happy? Which of your skills can earn you money?
What are you willing to fight for? How can you help others?
#9 You Hang Out with People Who Drain You
You are the sum of the five people with whom you spend most of your time. So, if you hang out with optimistic people, you’ll soak up their energy and become happy and optimistic yourself.
For example, if you hate your job, having a workmate who’s upbeat and supportive can make it a bit more bearable. Likewise, you can turn a small living space into your dream home with a bit of love and positive thinking.
The opposite is also true. Negative thoughts can quickly spiral out of control if you don’t manage them. Then, they begin to affect our emotions and actions.
So, take a minute to think about your relationships. If you feel that anyone in your life is affecting your outlook on the world for the worse, it’s time to cut them out of your life.
Put your energy into the people who truly support you, motivate you, and encourage you to be satisfied with your life.
#10 You Feel Bored
One reason for many people’s unhappiness is that they’re simply bored. They’re not finding enough mental stimulation in their lives, so they start to feel unsatisfied with how their life is turning out.
If this sounds familiar, then it’s time to challenge yourself.
Think about the things you enjoy learning and find ways to increase your knowledge in these areas. You can sign up for a class. You’ll have fun learning new things about a favorite topic and you’ll get to meet people with similar interests as well.
You can also find books, journals, and magazines on the topic. If you’re a more audio learner, why not look for podcasts and documentaries on the subject?
Whichever way you go about it, learning can be a great deal of fun. Plus, it’s a great opportunity to expand your knowledge and skill set.