Do you think you deserve the things you want? Take some time to process that question and answer it honestly. Many of us do not, so we self-sabotage and keep ourselves miserable. It is both a horrifying and a freeing idea that in the end the only person responsible for our own happiness or misery is… us!
So how do we get over our own mind when it tells us we are not good enough? How do we convince ourselves we are? It isn’t as easy as looking into a mirror and yelling “I’m good enough!” No, we have to follow a process to give ourselves permission to succeed.
Be Willing to See if Something is Possible
Too often we decide that there are things that are possible and there are things that are not. Then, boom! That’s the end of it. Reality is defined. A much better approach is to see if something could be possible. If you get an interesting idea, try something and see if it works. If that doesn’t work, try something else! This method of creating and testing hypothesis is actually the backbone of the scientific method, which has driven innovation for centuries.
Goals are important, but you need to find a way to be happy now.
John D. Rockefeller was once asked how much money is enough money. He famously said, “Just a little bit more.” (*) Our goals are like that. We experience highs and lows achieving them, but once they are met, we only get a temporary boost of happiness before we want the next thing.
Some, rather than feeling happy about their achievement, might instead feel empty when they reach their goal, but everything around feels the same. This vicious cycle is referred to as the arrival fallacy and, reaching your goals can sometimes make you even less happy.(*)
This should not be bad news. It means we’re free! We don’t need to make some special, magical thing happen before we can feel happy and valuable. We can be happy and appreciate ourselves right now!
As a matter of fact, if we can’t be happy now, in the moment, losing that next ten pounds or making another thousand dollars will not change our attitude. We have to give ourselves permission. The success will follow!
Focus on habits that keep your mood up and your relationships strong. Do stuff for you. Most importantly, make the conscious decision that you are going to be content today. Right now. It’ll take practice, but once you do it you will be free.
Identify Conflicting Beliefs
Regret usually occurs after we do something that we disagree with. This disagreement may come from conflicting subconscious beliefs. Maybe you believe in treating yourself, on the one hand, but you really want abs on the other. You will have to decide which side to take.
Maybe switch to healthier snacks and spend more time at the gym to earn cheat days. That will have you moving toward your fitness goal while also allowing yourself to have treats. It sure beats eating the whole bag of M&M’s in one afternoon and feeling awful.
A lot of us spend life waiting for permission from some external force to be happy. The only person we need to convince, however, is ourselves. A great way to start this process is simply giving yourself permission to succeed. You will find yourself seeking the help you need and following the correct steps to make stuff happen in your life.
Don’t Allow Other People’s Fears to Cast Shadows of Doubts
Many people, as children, start out with dreams of the things they want to be when they grow up. Maybe a scientist, or a senator, or a teacher. They start making plans, start to do the things that will set them on that course, then years later, they are doing something completely different than what they had intended to do.
If asked about their dreams later on, they may say things like:
- Life happens,
- I didn’t have much support,
- I grew up poor so how can I become The President.
A lot of people become their own worst enemy. They start to believe the things that they hear from outside influences. They start to set themselves up so that they won’t achieve those dreams that they had when they were children. The things that they hear in their heads aren’t something that implicitly live there, it is years of hearing that they can’t do something.
According to a study titled Social Influences in Sequential Decision Making by Markus Schöbel, et al, published in 2016, the author states in the introductory paragraph that:
“Individuals often ignore their own opinion in favor of the opinions of others.”
Thought is powerful. The most powerful force in existence. A single thought of “I CAN“, will change the course of someone’s life. A single thought of “I can’t” will do the same exact thing.
We lean on the knowledge and wisdom of those around us when making choices in life, but we have to remember that people are fallible and that their experiences stem from their own life choices, and the advice and support that they have gotten in the past.
So with these past experiences in hand advice is handed down. Temper that though because it’s not a lack of ambition, or resources that got in the way of these dreams of the people we seek advice from it is and always will be fear.
People fear that which they haven’t become.
If someone is trying to rise above their circumstances and everyone around them is telling them that they can’t, they may believe that.
People fear that which they aren’t.
If someone grew up in an educated white-collar professional family and they decided that they want to be a bricklayer, those around this person may look down on them because that’s just not what we do.
People fear that which they don’t know.
If someone has grown up in a small town and they desire to move to the city, those around them may tell them horror stories about what happens in the city. Get told enough, then that dream of moving to the city disappears.
People fear that which is different.
If someone is trying to go outside the box of what is traditionally their lifestyle, those around them may try to manipulate the situation so that it doesn’t happen.
Taking Back Control
Fear and thought are the controlling forces in a lot of lives. So how do you control your own mind, and along with it, your own destiny?
It’s the simplest hardest thing you will ever do: You just do.
Remember these things:
- Goals are worthwhile when they have been completed.
- You are not what you think you are
- Living life is about living life, not going through the motions of existence
- Fear is a response to the unknown. To overcome fear, make the unknown, known.
Practical steps to control your own mind:
Not only about your dreams and ambitions but about all of those around you that are casting doubt. Do this daily to clear the clutter in your mind
- SET GOALS
Daily, Weekly, Monthly, Yearly. If you want a 5-year plan, go ahead a do that, but chances are, that 5-year plan is going to go out the window.
Take a class, read a book. Knowledge is freedom for your mind.
Be Mindful, Practice Yoga, Do Daily Affirmations.
- TAKE ACTION
No matter what you do, always take action. Everyday wake up and do something. A little progress every day, is far better than no progress at all.
- BE ACTIVE
Sitting alone in a room alone all day watching your favorite streaming service is not being in control of your own mind. It is the antithesis of control.
- HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF
You are the most important person in your life. Your opinion should carry the most weight.
Don’t let the fear others have, control your destiny and cast doubt on you. Take action and be the person that you have always wanted to be.
Program Your Brain for Limit Free Success
Before we have success at ANYTHING, we must first program OUR subconscious mind at the core for “winning habits.”
There is a simple way to hack your mind to unblock it from those harmful beliefs, and you can do this in just a few minutes a day.
The key to a limit-free life of success, happiness, and perpetual wealth is here:
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Life can change in a flash…
…and it is not unreasonable to think that anyone can completely transform their life. No matter where life is at right now. Even if it seems hopeless.
After all it happens millions of times a day.
People from all over the world are experiencing abundance in Wealth, Health, and Love.
The difference between enjoying limitless success or not comes down to something tiny that can be fixed in less than 15 minutes a day.
Are you ready to embrace your limit-free life?