Have you ever thought about your life in the next ten years?
Do you see a beautiful house?
A stable career?
A loving partner?
An adorable family?
Whatever it is that you see for yourself in ten years, there is only one thing that can stand in your way. That one thing may be one of the hardest things to overcome. It is yourself.
So many of us have this deep-rooted feeling that we do not deserve happiness. We tell ourselves that suffering is normal, that it is just a part of life. What is even worse than that is that many of us actually sabotage our own happiness because of this subconscious feeling that we do not deserve good things.
These feelings of inadequacy begin in our childhood. When we are picked last for dodgeball, or fail to stand up to our bullies, or worse if we experience a childhood trauma. All of these events in our young lives add up to feelings of inadequacies in adulthood. This is what ultimately keeps us from achieving our dreams.
Most of what keeps us from achieving what we want for ourselves comes from the very things we never want to remember in the first place. In order to get through these feelings and get what you want out of life, you have to give yourself permission to let go of your inhibitions.
Start with a small goal. Think of an easy crutch that you give yourself permission to let go of.
What It Means to Feel Deserving
To feel deserving means that you believe you are worthy of being treated in a certain way. Due to our past experiences, failures, and setbacks, many believe that they are not deserving and worthy of achieving their goals and aspirations. Rather than stepping out and making efforts to accomplish goals, it is very easy to tell yourself you do not deserve them and are not good enough.
These deep-rooted beliefs can be very difficult to alter which causes people to hold themselves to a lower standard than they are worth and never realize their capabilities. By taking care of yourself and altering your perspective, you can achieve much more and feel much more deserving.
1| Self-Assurance
One of the most important ways to realize your worth and feel deserving of more is through self-confidence and understanding self-worth. When you recognize your deep beliefs that lower your confidence, you can come to terms with them and forgive yourself.
By letting go of these experiences and negative beliefs, you can appreciate who you are as a person and feel confident within yourself to become the person you have always wanted to be. As stated in an article from Psychology Today, the process of developing your self-worth is extremely empowering and makes room for positive change and confidence improvement.
Feeling deserving has nothing to do with others, but the way you feel about yourself. When you are able to develop that sense of self confidence and understand your worth, you will feel capable of standing up for yourself in both professional and personal situations.
2| Stop Making Comparisons
One of the main reasons that people are unable to find a sense of self-confidence and self-worth is due to their constant comparisons with others. Due to the abundance of social media platforms in today’s society, it is very easy to look at others who seem to look perfect.
Social media is not reality and only reveals people at their happiest and best moments. When you compare your reality to one that someone falsely portrays on social media, you are making a comparison that is not accurate.
Rather than comparing yourself to others, spend your time finding ways to personally develop and become the best version of yourself. It can be easy to look at others’ accomplishments and ask yourself why you haven’t received the same, but this will not get you far in life.
Reflect on yourself and how you can learn and grow from your experiences in order to find the confidence and mental strength you are searching for. These opportunities for self-growth are a crucial way to realize your potential and feel deserving.
3| Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
Taking risks in life and branching out of what feels comfortable and safe is this best way to develop and challenge yourself to grow. This will teach you to set goals and accomplish them and stop making excuses for yourself. There are many ways to do this and one of the most important ways to make this a long-lasting plan is to document and journal your goals, accomplishments, and fears.
When you are able to step out of your comfort zone and feel confident in your capabilities, you will find that you can achieve much more than you ever believed was possible. This will allow you to set yourself to a higher standard which allows you to feel more deserving than you have before.
Feeling deserving comes from a place of personal development and understanding. When you feel that you possess the confidence to branch out and take important risks, you are setting yourself to a higher standard. This standard reflects on your productivity and success, which are ways that you will feel deserving of much more from others.
Give Yourself Permission To Let It Go
Do you need to quit smoking? Do you have a bad habit of eating ice cream before bed? Have you been watching hours of mindless television before bed? Whatever it is that you are holding onto, give yourself permission to let it go. You may be surprised by how much power you have after letting go of one of your bad habits.
Once you begin to free yourself of these little things that are holding you back, it may be time to face up to some of the bigger issues at bay. Reconcile some of the feelings your past has contributed to your current situation.
Allow yourself to move on from these negative feelings. Perhaps you need to write and burn a letter to a past friend. Maybe you need to send a message in a bottle to an ex-lover. Whatever it is that is holding you back, find a way to let those issues go for good.
These small steps for your future happiness will likely plant little seeds of optimism. Your job will be to nourish that optimism. Let it grow, embrace it, and begin to look at yourself in light of the positive changes that are happening in your life. If you can embrace the optimism of small changes, then you are more likely to welcome big optimistic changes into your life.
As you begin to embrace these positive changes, you must continue to work on the negativity in your life as well. Unfortunately, this includes getting rid of relationships that cause pain or negativity in your life. Maybe you are lucky and have positive people surrounding you. However, chances are that you need to evaluate the people who surround you every day.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, this can be a huge source issue for not feeling deserving. When we love ourselves and value ourselves, feelings of being deserving come naturally. Consider going to a qualified therapist who can help you raise your self-esteem so that you may live a life filled with all the abundance that you deserve. (Check out our free eCourse – Boost Self-Esteem)
You may never own a mansion or have a six-figure salary, but you may be able to achieve something even greater: peace and contentment. Learning to be at peace with your accomplishments can bring great joy to your life. We all know that money does not buy happiness, so let happiness be your goal. Do not settle for letting your own insecurities keep you from getting what you deserve.
Five Signs That You Feel You Are Deserving
Everyone deserves happiness. This is no argument, but how do you know if you have embraced what your life has earned you? If you are able to silence that little voice inside your head that constantly sheds doubt on your worthiness, then you will exhibit the five qualities outlined below.
These are the signs that you have embraced what you deserve in your life and are on a mission for happiness.
1| You are Grateful for What You Have
You may not ever own a private jet. You may not work for an exotic company. You may not travel far and wide, but you have learned to appreciate what you do have. You are grateful for accomplishments far and wide.
Because of your gratefulness, you do not take things for granted. This simple outlook on life provides you with a huge advantage in the department of optimism. You are able to achieve more because you understand that those achievements are something to cherish.
2| You Do Not Shy Away from Challenges
People who have embraced their self-worth welcome the challenges that life throws their way. They understand that a challenge is life’s way of sharpening characteristics like grit and resilience. Further, they understand that their response to a challenge says more about their character than the challenge itself.
3| You Make Time for Yourself
If you have embraced your right to happiness, then you understand that you come first. You make time to take care of yourself in a variety of ways. This includes mental, physical, and emotional needs.
You take care of your physical health by eating well and exercising. This does not mean you hit the gym daily, or deprive yourself of carbs. This simply means that your eating habits are relatively healthy and you get a moderate amount of exercise to ward off health issues. Further, you make time to visit a doctor for regular check-ups and to check on issues if and when they arise.
You take of your mental health by doing things you enjoy, confiding in friends, and seeking help if the need arises. You do not allow stressful situations to get the best of you and you do not welcome negative relationships. By doing this, you in turn take care of your emotional needs.
You also allow yourself to enjoy things that others in your inner circle may not enjoy. You may go see a movie no one else likes, or get your nails done because it makes you feel confident. You are not afraid to indulge in things that make you happy.
4| You Do Not Apologize Unless You Mean It
People who have a solid grasp of their deserving nature only apologize when they truly mean it. They will not be bullied or tolerate injustices in friendships, relationships, or even in the workplace. This is because they understand the value they bring to these relationships and will not tolerate anything less than appreciation for their contributions.
On this same token, deserving people will admit to and apologize for their faults. Everyone makes mistakes and deserving people will own up to those mistakes.
5| You Have Meaningful Connections
People who are deserving build meaningful connections with others. They maintain friendships and put in work to build on those relationships. They value both parties in a relationship and understand that friendship is two-sided. They value their friends and encourage the give and take adventure that thrives in a healthy friendship.
People who are deserving strive to make themselves better people for the sake of their friends. Further, they push their friends to become the best version of themselves.
Destiny Tuning: The lazy persons’s secret to get everything you’ve wished for?” Read more…
Five Signs That You are Not Deserving
Everyone deserves to enjoy a fulfilling life. This statement rings true no matter what circumstances, and this article is not one that is going to agree that a person exists who does not deserve to be fulfilled. Rather, this article is a guide to recognizing a negative mental state.
Someone who does not feel that they deserve to find joy is someone who is suffering. If these five signs describe you, then it is time to change your outlook on life.
Read on to discover the five signs that you may be struggling with your self-worth.
1| You Tend to Be Negative and Ungrateful
People who struggling to believe that they deserve the best in life tend to be fairly pessimistic. They fail to acknowledge positives in their lives, instead choosing to focus on everything that goes wrong. This cyclical thinking quickly derails an ability to appreciate the success in your life.
If this describes you, then I urge you to start by finding one positive aspect of each day and focus on that aspect. Over time, try to find two things and then three. Ultimately, I challenge you to replace your negative thinking with grateful thinking. Changing your mindset is possible, even if done through baby steps.
2| You Have No Boundaries
Often, people who struggle with self-worth struggle with sticking to boundaries. If you find that other people run over you then you may need to set up some boundaries. People will only treat you as well as you teach them to treat you.
By setting up boundaries, you are setting up relationships for success. Do not let others talk down to you, remember, you are worth something. You deserve happiness and joy. Letting others run over you is not going to bring you closer to joy.
3| You Do Not Take Care of Yourself
Taking care of yourself is hard. Many of us spend far too much time taking care of others and we lose sight of ourselves in the process. You have to take care of yourself in order to be the best version of you.
This starts with eating right and getting exercise. You do not have to join a gym and count calories to do these things. Start by being just a little more mindful of your choices and see how that makes you feel. You may find that you like fueling your body just a tad bit more healthfully.
Also, make sure that you are doing what you need to do in the mental health department. Remember, you are not alone if you are struggling with your self-worth, isolation, anxiety, or depression. These are common. Talk to someone about them.
4| You Apologize Too Much
If you find yourself apologizing for things that you know are absolutely not your fault, then you may be struggling with your self-worth. Stop apologizing for things that are not your fault. Remember, people will only treat you as well as you teach them to treat you.
5| You Are Isolated or Push People Away
If you have isolated yourself from your friends or family members, then this is a good sign that you are sabotaging your own happiness. This is a common occurrence for people who are struggling to believe that they deserve good things. All of these doubts, though, are coming from you.
More likely than not, your family and friends want to be close to you again. They care about how you are doing and they want to help you through this. Reach out to one of them through text. Invite them for coffee or out to see a movie.
Your friendships are an important part of your emotional health. Having friends to lean on can make a major difference in your self-esteem.
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